I did a flippant post about Rebecca Watson’s Elevatorgate and have ended up having an intense and complex exchange of understanding with a commenter.
So yesterday afternoon, I was in an elevator – a tiny cramped space with 2 men.
Part of my brain was trying to figure out a funny way to reference the Elevatorgate Incident and then it occurred to me that these guys seemed like normal everyday people who might have heard of Elevatorgate – or not – and who might just think the whole think was blown out of proportion or was a colossal misunderstanding on an issue where emotions are what counts and you can’t qualify or relate to other people’s emotions when you just read about them – without seeing their face and body – how the experience played out in their being.
So I decided to try something different.
One of the men had a bouquet of flowers – specifically Star Gazer Lilies.
Fortunately, the blooms were closed because to my nose – these are the worst flowers ever – they reek.
The man seemed to my eye to be prepping himself.
So I said, “Someone’s a lucky …girl.”
His whole face flooded with relief and he grinned at me.
“Are you sure she likes star gazers?” I asked gently.
“When she first said she loved star gazers, I thought she wanted to sit outside and look up at the sky, I was so relieved when I found out they were flowers.” He said.
I smiled and relaxed; “Oh good, because they are that kind of flower that you like or you don’t, so it’s not one I would ever get on spec.”
He then explained that the flowers are not tolerable to cats (which I didn’t know) and I joked that I was a cat person, so that makes sense that I don’t like them.
We got to his floor and I wanted to do something more, so as he stepped off the elevator and onto the floor, I blurted out, “If you keep listening to her like that, you are going to score.”
He stopped, turned to face me – and then I saw the most amazing thing.
This well dressed, groomed, elegant man of around 50 years of age, turned into a 6 year old boy before my eyes and his whole face light up with such delight and assurance and playfulness that I wanted to hug him with my whole person.
He giggle like a schoolgirl.
Then the elevator doors closed and I continued on my way to talk to my trauma counsellor, floating on a cloud of random kindness but more than that – a playful, personal and meaningful interaction, an exchange of information and personality.
An encounter that made both parties feel a little bit better about the world, just because I was paying detailed attention to my surroundings and the people I was sharing it with.
I took the chance and reached out to someone and got to play with them in the moment they were in, just for the fun and good feelings generated.
It’s those moments of meaningful – even if only for an elevator ride, two strangers crossing paths and positively changing or affirming each other – connection to other people, that make life liveable.
I am pretty confident that both the man and the women getting the flowers have gotten lucky with each other – beyond a slap and tickle lucky.
