Life is conflict, conflict life

Conflict is life

Conflict is the process in which that we either accept or force changes to life circumstances – in this way, all conflict is an internal battle

Being bullied is only a problem if you object to being bullied – it isn’t a conflict for the bully as their standard is that bullying is okay – they are not in conflict internally – and not with you until you assert that they may not bully you.

Conflict is making your standards firm – I will not permit you to treat me this way – enforces a standard of conduct on other people Their response is whether they will accept your standard (kinder treatment of you) or maintain their standard (crappier treatment of you).

Conflict occurs when one person’s standards do not match another person’s – and the impact of the conflict is measured in how far apart the standards are. Closer together means resolution is possible without too much negative impact on the parties – however, the farther apart the standards are – the more likely an either/or or even, neither – the outcome will be.

2 thoughts on “Life is conflict, conflict life

  1. I find Jonathan Haid and Jesse Graham’s list of the five basis of morality very useful when thinking about conflict. The list is harm/care, fairness/reciprocity, ingroup/loyalty, authority/respect, purity/sanctity.

    Click to access haidt.graham.2007.when-morality-opposes-justice.pub041.pdf


    For me the last two on this list are the least important. I don’t care much for authority/respect, and purity/sanctity seem to be very artificial.

    ut when a Muslim tries to kill a Danish cartoonist he is obviously putting his priorities on authority/respect and purity/sanctity, and certainly making these more important than harm/care or fairness/reciprocity. When I read a bumper sticker that says “My Country Right or Wrong”, I understand that somebody sees ingroup/loyalty as more important than human life, strange as that seems to me.

    It seems to me that when I am in conflict with a person, it is usually because I think some things on this list are more important than others, and we don’t put the list in the same order. I have no idea what we can do about this. If a person values a holy book (purity/sanctity) more than they value my life or the life of their daughter (harm/care), there’s not much I can say to that person.

    • I think that liberal reads the list one way and conservatives the other.

      it’s one of the serious dangers of religion, that ideas are before people as is purity.

      especially when it’s purity ideas that result in genocide to the honor killings of teenaged daughters and women

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