Forgiveness II

Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me.


It is said that living well is the best revenge. But to live well, one must forgive and not carry the slings, arrows, trespasses and harms done to them.

To live well for the sake of yourself and living well – not to spite others or harbour revenge fantasies or assure yourself that Those People will eventually get theirs.

To forgive is to live without closure, to let go and be done, heedless and uncaring of the outcome for anyone but your self.

The idea of closure is a strange one to my mind – when life is anything but closed. Life is open and a mystery in many ways. We cannot know really what others think, feel or experience. We know what we observe, what they tell us, we can understand subtext and context and know when things appear just off of how they are told or explained to be.

The idea of closure connects to the idea of there being a divine and final justice – it is a religious way of thinking that life is orderly, with cause and justice.

Which is strange given that we live in a world of extremes, where most people who are born are peasants, slaves, untouchables, workers, unsung, unheard and forgotten when living memory passes. Where there is no equitable distribution of wealth, resources, opportunities, even within the same society.

Nice and bad guys alike merely finish where they do with little relevance to their disposition. Winners don’t write history so much as spin doctor it.

We live with cognitive dissonance, hypocrisy, confirmation bias and outright lies when they provide more comfort than truth. Truth is not only relative, but in fact, a distant relative to the realities that we individually live in and act as if they are true.

We operate in the world as if people are like ourselves, as if people are rational actors, as if, as if, as if, it means anything.

When the meaning of life is the meaning we give it by living.

Where we live determines much about the how we live, we live within the limitations of our time period, our geography, our education, our desires and abilities, our opportunity and our culture, within the limits of the freedom or limitations of our respective societies.



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