the reason about role models

I already talked about wanting to get an Elvis style jumpsuit with a beaver on it to wear to the Emmy award and to go with Kathy Griffin as my celebrity date – along with my spouse – who loves Kathy Griffin.

Although honestly, we love your act in Canada way better than the act you have to tone down in America – Oh Canada Go Kathy!

And I talked about how kd lang basically already gave the world a Canadian and a Lesbian Elvis – both at the same time.

But she also was the reincarnation of Patsy Cline – so another star pulled from my sky.

And in addition to being a singer – kd trained as a performance artist – giving this 60’s American sweetheart song a whole new rebooting;

and here’s a little side of kd lang that amazingly didn’t cause a ripple in Canada when it aired, but lesbians across the whole world fainted


So kd lang is a singer and a performance artist.

I am a story teller – which makes me a performance artists because I tell stories with world but when I tell them in person – it’s with my whole body.

Whether I tell a funny story about my dogs and I impersonate them or I tell other kinds of stories while impersonating other people.

Some people that I am related to and other people that I meet in person – say, at a workshop sometime.

So – I have a decision to make and I do not make pro and con lists like other people.

When I need to make a decision – I ask total strangers for advise.

Because everyone I know in person – well, it’s a complicated backstory – but people I know don’t beleive me when I ask for their opinion because I am so – well opinionated – that they think that I am waiting to give them  a lecture.

But I noticed something, the first time that I did a random sample.

I approached 5 men and 5 women on the street in Vancouver many years ago.

About a decision that I had to make and I made the question so generic that I expected to get a true sampling.

I have a guaranteed job and I have a shot at my dream job. Which should I take?

Every man said – guaranteed job- right on the heels of my question and then walked away.

Which was fine, I wasn’t asking any follow up questions or for money. I was done with them.

But, every woman I asked – stopped. And thought. Sometimes for a heartbeat, sometimes just a moment, sometimes a long long moments.

and every woman said: dream job.

So I know it wasn’t the question – but I really had a decision to make – to go with the safe job that would lead no where or risk that job and go for broke.

I went for broke and came in second for the dream job and worked at the safe job for  a year – was even given a raise in three months, then promoted and given another raise – then, that boss found out that I was lesbian.

Suddenly, I wasn’t the manager anymore – I was just one of the clerks and my job on the work memo was taking out the trash and doing the dirty print shop machine work instead of the graphic designer and legal photocopying work.

I ignored the instructions and reassigned the work because the staff all looked to me as the manager because the boss was out there hustling clients.

And by ignoring the boss, I saved several projects and retained several clients. Despite his change in attitude towards me. So I left that job – it was before 1992 and legal in Canada to be fired or evicted or denied promotions or demoted for being gay.

So I am not singer or dancer – but I am playing to do some Elvis impersonating as exercise and I have promising a certain someone to make a video of me channelling my inner Elvis.

Originally – I had my niece and sister film me doing Blue Suede Shoes back in February.

I did the song and after I fell down on my knees and then the floor and I could not get up for 20 minutes, I was that out of beath. I couldn’t move.

So I didn’t want to send that video. I didn’t look so good – all bloated and pale – a lot like Elvis on the CBC special – I had the moves, but there weren’t that many of them.

So I made another one – towards the end of February as part of a 30 minute video – of another song “I’m Counting On You” and I added a lyric – but banking on me.

And I had all the energy before and after the performance – which was a lot more physical than the first song only video. I did not fall down.

So now I am going to be very brave and make a 5 song Elvis video – filmed professionally by a good friend – but it will be me doing Elvis in public.

I don’t know what will happen, but I think it will be good.

Because I will tell you one thing about Flash Forward – one of many workshops that I attended and organized over the span of my life so far….

It makes you very bold and it’s designed in America to teach Americans how to move their careers up levels – and Americans are not shy people generally about self-promotion.

But Canadians are – we will do anything to not draw attention to ourselves.

At least – not public attention – because to a very problematic degree people in North America have become a little obsessively disordered about self-agrandizing attention seeking behaviours – so part of me – is so uncomfortable – looking like any other attention seeking person on the internet or in real life.

So it’s important that you understand – and remember that – is is not a joke or an embellishment – I am an actual shut-in – agoraphobic with social anxiety and panic disorders – medically diagnosed. Also medically diagnosed with chronic and manic depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – I mean you don’t experience what I experienced and walk away unscathed.

So all this attention seeking that I am doing – is terrifying to me – and I am doing it anyway.

Because I had a guaranteed job – for life – and I worked 13 years in 8 branches of 7 Departments and I say that anyone who is a lifer should only refer to people in prison and not people in the employee of the taxpayers of any nation.

Whether they are in said pay by accident of birth or by personal networks or even official channels when properly operated in accordance with the policies and legislation of the land and industry sector.

Now the computer in high school said that there were only 2 jobs for me – Prime Minister or Movie Producer.

I was told to go to law school, but the movie – Kramer vs Kramer had already put an end to law school – but you don’t actually need to go to law school to qualify to be Prime Minister.

I am pretty sure that our current Prime Minister is in fact an economics major – not a legal scholar.

But I think it is important for the Prime Minister to understand the law of the land that they are Prime Minister of.

To know what it means to be Canadian to know what it means to be Canada – because – it’s all right there in the Charter of Rights.

And since kd lang has already done Elvis and Patsy Cline – then I have to find another role model to emulate for my video debut and  I am thinking – and I have been thinking like an American – so I want to introduce:

The Love Child that Elvis and Ann-Margaret Never had

Impersonating Elvis but doing a cherry knot twist to blend Liberace – the 1950’s other dazzleing and adorable performer –

so Not Love Child of Ann-Margaret & Elvis – impersonating Liberace – because – while straight people have coopted drama queen – as a lesbian and a Wit Queen – I am not your usual lesbian drag king – I am a Lesbian Droll King – and so I introduce:




My Lesbian Role Models

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It bothers me that with all the talk of sex this and sex that.

What straight men like and who straight women like and often even in mainstream productions – we talk about who gay men like.

Not just as celebrity hotties but role models.

Something we don’t talk at lot about it seems, maybe because there’s just so few good ones.

I mean – even science people like Pascal had a bad self parody ending to his life – not that different from Elvis’ own self parody end. But what did Elvis care at the end, really- he knew there was nothing left for him to do.

Because Elvis stopped caring about his career and his image – everyone else had already quit on him.

So Elvis quit too. Only, it’s anyone’s guess as to when. I suspect that it was around the time of the Aloha special in 1973.

Aloha meaning both hello and goodbye. Both at the same time.

Because when I bought the deluxe DVD box sets of the

  1. 1968 NBC Special – that was a comeback then and it stands as a comeback now.
  2. 1973 World Satellite Broadcast – it was a television technological and viewer event that would make alll the LiveAid or AIdAid multi continent multi artist things possible – because that concert was to raise funds for cancer – it was a benefit concert and the whole world benefited for being for the first time – to sit down and all watch Elvis Presley – the first and last entertainer that the whole world could agree on – all the same time – well, later in America for some reason – but the rest of the world – got to watch Elvis live and he dazzled. But, watching that show now, in 2012, it’s clear that Elvis was nervous and phoning it in.
  3. The Final Curtain – the deluxe unofficial box set that brought together a visual legacy of Elvis’ final tours and final shows and everyone thought he looked so bad then – but watching in 2012 – Elvis is not as physically bad then as the Average American and Many Canadians for that matter – to be honest, including me – in fact, he looks pretty damn good, all things considered.

So it’s funny to know that the Estate won’t show Elvis looking fat because they don’t want Elvis to be made a mockery of – well, maybe what the Western World needs most is a reminder that Elvis got fat and Elvis even fat – was more fuckworthy than most people who are alive today.

Fat just means there’s a smooth ride waiting for you – if you ask politely and respectfully and not like you’re doing any fat person a favour by asking.

Because I really don’t know who anyone is to think that any fat person is interested in being poked at by some stick insect person or whoever they think they are doing us a favour.

You know I really don’t think when people hear voices in their heads that it means anything than they are just riffing off of tv shows and characters.

I mean, I don’t know how anyone reading this could know that when I wrote:

Fat just means there’s a smooth ride waiting for you – if you ask politely and respectfully and not like you’re doing any fat person a favour by asking.

Because I really don’t know who anyone is to think that any fat person is interested in being poked at by some stick insect person or whoever they think they are doing us a favour.

I was not hearing that in my head as a Canadian Accent. We get a lot of American Television in Canada – so we watch your shows and we ignore our own shows – and you ignore our shows – but America imports shows from the UK and Australia.

And it’s hard when you engage an international audience a universal audience when you are also talking to particular groups and even sometimes, particular people. You know – all at the same time.

I mean, it’s hard for any to keep track of so many things.

You see, Elvis’ dreams were not to be the King of anything – he was the first to tell anyone – I am not the king, I am a man and then he sang, take my hand.

A Canadian song by our beloved Buffy Saint Marie

Elvis’ dreams were to achieve the middle class dream.

He got bigger than he dreamed and his management held him to his original contract – you work hard, you get a middle class dream life.

But that dream ended in 1958, when Gladys died.

Elvis went in the army, found a way to soldier through and soldier on and he returned a remade hero – for a grown up mainstream audience.

Hmmm. Elvis was not a lesbian – but he played one very well.

You see – Elvis really loved woman – and like any straight man – he went to strip clubs and dance clubs – he enjoyed Vegas and Paris for the show girls.

He was a red blooded boy who couldn’t stop thinking about girls girls girls.

And – hey, I am a lesbian and I am down with being about girls.

But guys didn’t like how Elvis got the girls – because Elvis got the girls by being one of the girls.

His original stage act was not all that remarkable from the other country circuit performers – and in the early days – Bill Black on bass was just as critical to the courageousness of the stage performance – he’d ride the bass, slap it, jump on and it play it every where like a good pony.

Because country performers had to compete with the kinds of preachers that Elvis watched as a child. Country audiences were an audience to be moved – emotionally and physically.

So Elvis voice played on all the heart-strings.

From laments to the bittersweet tears to the stop dont stop toucheme there don’t stop dont stop touch touch don’t stop touching me there of almost a little bit more

And Elvis eventually balanced his performance in three ways – the country hillbilly bop, the RnB stylings and women who did burlesque.

Elvis watched women singers and dancers and strippers and he knew how watching them made him feel in his body and his emotions and in his mind – so when Elvis stepped out on the stage – he just did everything in reverse and without the heels.

Elvis had chased girls his whole life – he was desperate for a girl to love him and adore him and before he was famous, they all said no.

In Tupelo, girls could be driven to tears by playmates chanting “Elvis likes you Elvis likes You.”

Oh, the sweetest revenge is living so well that the taunts of childhood haunt those who said them and in Elvis’ case, the girls who heard them.

Because after 1956 – any girl would have fainted if that had been chanted at her.


Love is a many gendered and blendered thing

Confession – I copied this and closed the tab before i remembered to link back to the source – but since this is all Greek Philosophy – it belongs to the world – no matter what person wrote down the words:

a. Eros

The term eros (Greek erasthai) is used to refer to that part of love constituting a passionate, intense desire for something; it is often referred to as a sexual desire, hence the modern notion of “erotic” (Greek erotikos). In Plato‘s writings however, eros is held to be a common desire that seeks transcendental beauty-the particular beauty of an individual reminds us of true beauty that exists in the world of Forms or Ideas (Phaedrus 249E: “he who loves the beautiful is called a lover because he partakes of it.” Trans. Jowett). The Platonic-Socratic position maintains that the love we generate for beauty on this earth can never be truly satisfied until we die; but in the meantime we should aspire beyond the particular stimulating image in front of us to the contemplation of beauty in itself.

The implication of the Platonic theory of eros is that ideal beauty, which is reflected in the particular images of beauty we find, becomes interchangeable across people and things, ideas, and art: to love is to love the Platonic form of beauty-not a particular individual, but the element they posses of true (Ideal) beauty. Reciprocity is not necessary to Plato’s view of love, for the desire is for the object (of Beauty), than for, say, the company of another and shared values and pursuits.

Many in the Platonic vein of philosophy hold that love is an intrinsically higher value than appetitive or physical desire. Physical desire, they note, is held in common with the animal kingdom. Hence, it is of a lower order of reaction and stimulus than a rationally induced love—that is, a love produced by rational discourse and exploration of ideas, which in turn defines the pursuit of Ideal beauty. Accordingly, the physical love of an object, an idea, or a person in itself is not a proper form of love, love being a reflection of that part of the object, idea, or person, that partakes in Ideal beauty.

b. Philia

In contrast to the desiring and passionate yearning of eros, philia entails a fondness and appreciation of the other. For the Greeks, the term philia incorporated not just friendship, but also loyalties to family and polis-one’s political community, job, or discipline. Philia for another may be motivated, as Aristotle explains in the Nicomachean Ethics, Book VIII, for the agent’s sake or for the other’s own sake. The motivational distinctions are derived from love for another because the friendship is wholly useful as in the case of business contacts, or because their character and values are pleasing (with the implication that if those attractive habits change, so too does the friendship), or for the other in who they are in themselves, regardless of one’s interests in the matter. The English concept of friendship roughly captures Aristotle’s notion of philia, as he writes: “things that cause friendship are: doing kindnesses; doing them unasked; and not proclaiming the fact when they are done” (Rhetoric, II. 4, trans. Rhys Roberts).

Aristotle elaborates on the kinds of things we seek in proper friendship, suggesting that the proper basis for philia is objective: those who share our dispositions, who bear no grudges, who seek what we do, who are temperate, and just, who admire us appropriately as we admire them, and so on. Philia could not emanate from those who are quarrelsome, gossips, aggressive in manner and personality, who are unjust, and so on. The best characters, it follows, may produce the best kind of friendship and hence love: indeed, how to be a good character worthy of philia is the theme of the Nicomachaen Ethics. The most rational man is he who would be the happiest, and he, therefore, who is capable of the best form of friendship, which between two “who are good, and alike in virtue” is rare (NE, VIII.4 trans. Ross). We can surmise that love between such equals-Aristotle’s rational and happy men-would be perfect, with circles of diminishing quality for those who are morally removed from the best. He characterizes such love as “a sort of excess of feeling”. (NE, VIII.6)

Friendships of a lesser quality may also be based on the pleasure or utility that is derived from another’s company. A business friendship is based on utility–on mutual reciprocity of similar business interests; once the business is at an end, then the friendship dissolves. This is similar to those friendships based on the pleasure that is derived from the other’s company, which is not a pleasure enjoyed for whom the other person is in himself, but in the flow of pleasure from his actions or humour.

The first condition for the highest form of Aristotelian love is that a man loves himself. Without an egoistic basis, he cannot extend sympathy and affection to others (NE, IX.8). Such self-love is not hedonistic, or glorified, depending on the pursuit of immediate pleasures or the adulation of the crowd, it is instead a reflection of his pursuit of the noble and virtuous, which culminate in the pursuit of the reflective life. Friendship with others is required “since his purpose is to contemplate worthy actions… to live pleasantly… sharing in discussion and thought” as is appropriate for the virtuous man and his friend (NE, IX.9). The morally virtuous man deserves in turn the love of those below him; he is not obliged to give an equal love in return, which implies that the Aristotelian concept of love is elitist or perfectionist: “In all friendships implying inequality the love also should be proportional, i.e. the better should be more loved than he loves.” (NE, VIII, 7,). Reciprocity, although not necessarily equal, is a condition of Aristotelian love and friendship, although parental love can involve a one-sided fondness.

c. Agape

Agape refers to the paternal love of God for man and of man for God but is extended to include a brotherly love for all humanity. (The Hebrew ahev has a slightly wider semantic range than agape). Agape arguably draws on elements from both eros and philia in that it seeks a perfect kind of love that is at once a fondness, a transcending of the particular, and a passion without the necessity of reciprocity. The concept is expanded on in the Judaic-Christian tradition of loving God: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might” (Deuteronomy 6:5) and loving “thy neighbour as thyself” (Leviticus 19:18). The love of God requires absolute devotion that is reminiscent of Plato’s love of Beauty (and Christian translators of Plato such as St. Augustine employed the connections), which involves an erotic passion, awe, and desire that transcends earthly cares and obstacles. Aquinas, on the other hand, picked up on the Aristotelian theories of friendship and love to proclaim God as the most rational being and hence the most deserving of one’s love, respect, and considerations.


and here’s my words that I hope people will freely copy – whether they link back to me or not: (sorry Jenny – please know that I totally love you because without you having sent me Letters from a Skeptic by Dr. Gregory Boyd – I didn’t beleive that Christians were capable of feeling love – any love – so discovering how much Dr Gregory Boyd did and does, if he’s still alive) was the greatest shock to me.

It’s what made me cry – because that cry was what started healing me.

And I am not going to clarify that thought any further – I so adore Jenny and what she did – that Jenny and each person who reads that line – can read whatever they want into said line. Beleive whatever you want, I know what it means to me and that’s enough for me – and I humbly offer everyone to read into that line whatever makes them happiest to think – even if they don’t read any other post on my blog or my other blogs to try to figure it out.

There’s only one person who knows for sure and she’s not talking – because there’s this legal idea that spouses can’t testify against each other – that only comes with legal marriage – so there’s a reason why religion doesn’t get to have a say in who can be married or not – because individuals are the social unit of consequence, with the freedom to take liberties with whatever makes them happy.

And I am sorry that the spouses that some people don’t make them happy so they cheat on their spouses with live boys or dead girls.

But my spouse makes me happy and I make her happy and we are more than enough for each other – and I wish that everyone could be as happy with their spouse as I am with mine – that I married in 1994 at a Gay Pride Parade, and we were deemed common law in Canada in 2000 – so we had all the same legal rights and privedges as any married regular person – but we also got married in 2004 – after gay marriage became the law of the land in Canada – because Quebec Provincial laws are based in the Napoleonic Code – not British Common Law – and the French do not allow commoners much marriage protection, since after all, marriage is not about romance – marriage is about contract law – to protect family assets when merged from being devalued upon dissolution of said contract and to ensure that your spouse cannot falsely testify or honestly testify against you in court to gain control of your assets because she was mad that you were out chasing ass.

And if America wasn’t so hung up on being a classless society – they would remember that there are two kinds of laws – one you obey and one you skirt.

dot dot dot

and Christians are obey the letter of a divine law – while skirting around it’s meaning and intention – which was not to obey any letter of the laws.

In fact – the whole point of Christianity was to reboot Judaism and make it open to anyone – without being born to it or adapting Jewish customs – so Jesus was literally – sorry – in the story he was born to be the last sacrifice.

Thank you Jesus, got the memo.

Can you come back and tell your followers to stop sacrificing the rest of us now?

because I am outside of all the religions of the world – and I am talking to every single religious or spiritual person who ever and where ever and whatever you are:

it was never about any book or particular prophet or philosophy

it was about each and every person

being as loving a person as they can be

to everyone

no matter what tired yearning huddle mass

or huddled/hurt individual person

they are

without laying conditions or guilt trips or demanding obey me

and if your love is conditional love

then, thanks, I’ll pass

I am not as kinky as you are

my safe word is athiest

and I never meant it to be taken as a challenge

for some people across a spectrum of religions

to show me hell on earth


Elvis’ Last Recorded Conversation

Transcript of telephone conversation between Red West and Elvis

[IMGl][/IMGl]”This is red west, you are about to hear a telephone conversation between Elvis presley and myself that I recorded sometime in october 1976 while I was in los angeles writing the book ?Elvis what happened?, along with my cousin sonny west and dave hebler.

It was no secret that we were writing the book and knowing Elvis as I did I knew he would try to contact us. I also knew we would be called liars, judas?, traders and any other expletives by fans and even some people around him who we had been close to up until this time. I knew that he would reveal in this conversation enough information that would substantiate what we said in the book.

It was even more than I had expected. And more than I wanted to hear. By this I mean I heard a sad and lonely man. A man I had grown up with and watched rise from near poverty to become the greatest entertainer this world we?ll ever see. A boy in a mans body who could not handle the celebrity that he had now become. I had a sinking feeling that I would never see my best friend again and I didn?t”

*** start of conversation ***

Elvis: how you doing man?

Red West: I just woke up.

Elvis: I was just on one of those singing binges. I got a couple new guitars and singing my *** off. Watching little kids marvel. I?m by myself, linda is in l.a. she?s changing apartments. We had that apartment, the people found I was in back of it and raised the rent double. She got another one right down the street. Charlie told me about the talk you all had, I guess I do owe an explanation.

Red West: I wish you had come to me and told me.

Elvis: you don?t do things like that cause that?s my daddy?s business.

Red West: no it?s not.

Elvis: I was getting a lot of excess pressure. You know that racquet thing. Two courts for a million three hundred thousand dollars? My understanding was that we were going to just use my name. And that?s all and that was the contract I signed. I did it as a favor for dr. Nick and joe. I?m just trying to tell some of the things that led up to it. I was wrong about hebler. Just a bad thing on my part. He was very undermining and sneaky.

He hated all you guys and everybody else and I kept this ****. It just burned into my ear. And those deleted – see guidelines #2 lawsuits in two years. I don?t know whether you heard it, but they were trying to prove us insane. I?m talking about some influential people who were checking psychiatrist reports. They were trying to prove us insane. The whole bunch.

Red West: I could not believe it. You had left town. Your daddy called us and talked about cutting down expenses and giving us one week?s notice. They give Chinese coolies two weeks.

Elvis: I didn?t know anything about it. The one week thing.

Red West: the bottom fell out. I got a little hurt at first.

Red West: but anyway, where were we?

Elvis: you know my voice is so low. I can make j.d. sumner sound like a tenor. We sang so long, I got a new martin guitar, my **** fingers are blistered from playing.

Red West: yeah, that?s the way mine used to get when I?d sit up and try to write songs. My three first fingers were just too big. I mean, just had big blisters on the end of them. But ah, ah ****, I wish I could get my mind cleared, just waking up. But ah, talking about, oh yeah.

Elvis: I have ah, ah, yunno, I?m operating on but one cylinder.

Red West: but like I said ah, I?ve gotta ah, that show is doing pretty good, I?ve got a regular running part in it. It starts in the next three or four weeks, I think. And I think I?m just gonna hang with that.

Elvis: well, yunno, one thing that happened was a combination of a whole lot of things building up. It wasn?t necessarily personal, or even the god****ed lawsuits. It was like a fuse burning, yunno. Just because of a lot of things that piled up on me.

Red West: yeah, well.

Elvis: and ah, maybe I did lose sight of… Especially you, your family and everything.
Red West: yeah. It was cold Elvis. (interrupted)

Elvis: I love pat.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: and ah, you got a good family and everything

Red West: well, I?ve had a lot of time to think about it, I mean, yunno, I can sit here and people say ?oh, the old days? and all that ****, but it did cross my mind. And all I?ve ever done is try to ah, maybe sometimes I overprotect you. And that?s the gods truth.

Elvis: yeah.

Red West: and ah…

Elvis: well, I know that.

Red West: and here I was. Here I was. And, but that, yunno, Elvis, like you say you had problems.

Elvis: well, you know what it is. That old guy said in cool hand luke, a failure to communicate.

Red West: yeah, well that?s the god?s truth we sure the hell didn?t communicate in the last year or so.

Elvis: yeah. And it was just like I said, it was just a series of things. If I could lay them out to you one by one…

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: to show you the reasons why the separatism?s. Lack of communication.

Red West: right.

Elvis: my daddy was sick. Nearly dead. My family is strung all over the face of the united states. It?s the deleted – see guidelines #2 lawyers and law-suits making a mountain out of a molehill.

Red West: yeah. Yeah, I know, yunno, that was some rough times going through that. One lawsuit came along and then everybody else saw a chance to jump on it. It mushroomed and then boy everybody and his cousin was after our ***.

Elvis: yeah, that?s what I mean. One gets away with it or thinks they do. What they try to do is establish a pattern of insanity and violence.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: like condemn me for shooting out that lamp up there in….

Red West: what the hell was that?

Elvis: the hilton hotel with a .22 target pistol.

Red West: yeah, oh yeah, well we was known as the wild bunch.

Elvis: yeah, that?s for sure. But the good old days are still a fact.

Red West: they?re definitely a fact and always will be. I mean, what?s done was done. We had a lot of good times man, there for a while, like you said, things got real serious. A lot of problems came up.
I don?t know we just lost sight of a lot of things. A lot of the good things. I don?t know. Just the fun, the fun left.

Elvis: the fun ceased to exist.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: I couldn?t pinpoint it. Just couldn?t quite figure it out. Yunno. Deleted – see guidelines #2, shhhhhh, deleted – see guidelines #2 racquetball courts.

Red West: yeah, I passed by there the other day, well, I passed by for a while while you all were gone and it was still presleys center court and then……………

Elvis: they ought to take that down cause……………

Red West: huh?

Elvis: they oughtta take that down.

Red West: they already have, yeah, I was gonna say, just before I came out here I didn?t see that sign anymore.

Elvis: oh well, the last I heard it was still up. I dont know, but you know, a good conman, when its my name… They got these builders and they got themselves bound to a contract. Two courts, there up to a half a million dollars each?

Red West: that?s too expensive.

Elvis: what the **** man! Poor old joe had his mother to hock her house. To get a loan on her house, to get the money.

Red West: I could tell you about going into business with sharp, sharpies. They don?t care, you could hock your mother?s ***.

Elvis: that?s what he had to do.

Red West: yeah. Did joe get out of it?

Elvis: huh?

Red West: is joe out of it, is?

Elvis: um yeah, he?s in the process of trying to get out of it. The builders, who were contracted to build the **** thing are the ones holding up the ballgame. But I pulled out of it, yunno, I just.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: I had to. Cause I saw that it was a con job. I had a sneaky feeling, yunno.

Red West: well, I didn?t know, yunno, I didn?t know if it was or not. I just had a feeling it was.

Elvis: it started off kinda innocent. I was told one thing, like I wouldn?t have to put up a dime, yunno. Wouldn?t be no money or nothing.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: well, that was the contract that I signed. I talked to daddy about it just after he came out of the hospital. We talked over a period of time, but yunno, if it will help joe and nick, they could use my name because I couldn?t benefit nothing from it.

Red West: right, it was just something to help them out. Nick, yunno, nick didn?t, I don?t think nick knew the guy that well. The guy was…..

Elvis: I don?t think he did either.

Red West: no, he just got sucked in. He saw a chance to make some money, hoping, and joe did too. But this other guy is the one I was leery of.

Elvis: oh, that son of a *****, I dunno, I?ve talked to my attorney?s yesterday about the racquetball thing, you know mr. Davis died.

Red West: yeah, I know. I saw that in the paper just before I left.

Elvis: well the guy thats taking his place. Just ah, said that, he said that ah, he started telling me, to help, all this lawyer stuff, and then he said, he said, Elvis, this sonofa***** is a con artist, rigged up. Ya see, they came running in and said one thing… Well ya see, what started happening would be ah, they started hitting me up for ten thousand, twenty thousand.

Red West: start hitting you up for it?

Elvis: yeah.

Red West: oh yeah, well there?s a pattern.

Elvis: thats what I thought well, I said, you guys putting up that kind of money? Yunno. They said, yeah, we?re in, so its all mine. Lawyers, they?ll **** you blind.

Red West: yeah, I remember he was on one of the tours with us…………

Elvis: on the tour, pretending to be interested in numerology books and stuff. But it all falls into place. But were smart enough to do that. Alright. Then ah, it amounted to they needed eighty thousand dollars. And I said ok, for what? For a secretary.

Red West: god ****! Boy I?ll tell you, those secretaries, they gotta union there or something?

Elvis: thats exactly what I said. I said how in the hell is a secretary going to cost eighty thousand dollars?

Red West: ****, naw, in this town you gotta get out of that ****.

Elvis: yeah, I mean I tried to hang in there with them, you know.
I didn?t want to crush their enthusiasm, their dreams or whatever.

Red West: just crush the secretaries.

Elvis: eighty thousand dollar secretary.

Red West: almighty, how much does the president of the board make?

Elvis: yeah, well you know they?ve got all these cards and **** printed up……chairman of the board. It started off presley center courts and they changed that to Elvis presley center courts without ever even asking me one thing about it.

Red West: ah ha, ****.

Elvis: they had all these cards and **** made up, president, vice-president. Still, didn?t even come to me and ask me.

Red West: oh hell, once they?ve gotcha your name on it. Once this mike got your name on there. I heard him yunno, he went to nashville and everywhere just saying well I represent mr. Elvis presley and this racquetball venture. Just on your name alone, yunno. He just ah, got just what the hell he wanted. But ah, I don?t know what I?m trying to say, e. We?ve got to get back to my problem. Man, I?ve never done that. Just old red trying to do a job, man, and….

Elvis: no, I wasn?t using that as an example. I was just telling you.

Red West: yeah, ah-no, no, I know it. I just we?re talking about something I don?t know about is that racquetball court. I just know about my problems.

Elvis: what started out as a friendship and a favor and they turned into a million three-hundred-thousand dollar project.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: do you realize how long it would take to realize a profit, after putting that money into it?

Red West: yeah, I am afraid so. It would take…

Elvis: they?d be so old, until they think the racquet resembles a ****ing banjo. Hey, what is this? I?m trying to play it.
Red West: plaster falling off the walls. Ah ****, well, like, nick,
poor old nick, everybody?s trying to make a buck…. Like nick?s chips he went into man, hell, that was a flop. They had everything figured but the **** truck that hauled them over from arkansas. That fell through like…..

Elvis: nick?s chips, ****…

Red West: well, that fell through, like…..

Elvis: I never seen anybody drive to a hospital in something.
Deleted – see guidelines #2 I mean, I had mixed emotions; I hit the floor the first night, just rolled there. Nick?s chip, ****, my ***. The first thing I conjured up in my mind was a gambler saying he was in vegas and nick the greek, yunno. He?s the gambler. That?s what I created in my mind. Nicks chips, ****. He just don?t. He obviously just don?t know, yunno. And these ****ing contractors up there are just cold hearted business men. I mean.

Red West: oh sure. Look, you start messin with a guy like that, I mean that dollars talk and that?s it.

Elvis: still, but the way it was done, I mean, they led, they led their calf to slaughter.

Red West: yeah, well, you got out of it. You?re out of it then right?

Elvis: yeah, I?m in the process of getting….

Red West: yeah, I don?t blame you ?cause…you start going into business with a bunch of people, if you do it yourself then you know what?s happening, but you get two or three other guys, then.

Elvis: with my signature they all must have just went stark raving mad.

Red West: sure they did, I know that mike did.

Elvis: the lawyer read to me the contract, yesterday. Where it said that if anything happened to it, Elvis stands goods for the whole thing.

Red West: oh, oh. Yeah, well see there. They didn?t tell ya (interrupted)..

Elvis: you know good ****ed and I don?t even care that much about racquetball.

Red West: yeah, right.

Elvis: um. Yeah, I would stand good for the whole thing. So that was news to me. Also, I just found out yesterday that this guy mike had set him up, management fee was fifty thousand dollars a year.

Red West: sure.

Elvis: uh, extra. Um, joe didn?t know anything about it, nick didn?t know a **** thing about it. But yet, the lawyers had it rightthere.

Red West: yeah. Well, that?s what I figured, this mike conned nick and everybody else into it. He?s getting well on it, yunno. That?s a shame man, nick always man, I thought he was smart and I thought joe was smart.

Elvis: not when it comes to business.

Red West: no. I think we?re on a party line or something.

Elvis: and my whole thing, see, I can never possibly realize any kind of a profit out of it. I did it just as a friendship thing yunno. I didnt think it was..there was no harm, yunno, in helping these guys get a couple of racquetball courts, one here, and one in nashville, however it was fine with me. I didnt see no harm.

Red West: yeah, no, not (interrupted)

Elvis: but you see, the paper that I signed had nothing of that mentioned. So my lawyer figures that this **** was put in there after I signed it. Yunno what I mean.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: uh, because, you know **** near well, I wouldn?t have signed it. After a while, stand good for a couple of ****in racquet, half a million dollar racquetball courts.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: that just totally surprised me too. A half a million dollars for a racquetball court? Why hell, I can get earl in with a hammer, and albert let him construct one. Dont give the woodpeckers long enough.

Red West: really for $39.98. Oh, well they must have gone for the sauna, the whole health club bit, or something. They had to, it don?t cost that much to build no **** two racquetball courts. I don?t know. Well.

Elvis: well ah, I think it?s gonna be ten courts at each place.

Red West: oh, well, huh, oh!

Elvis: I mean, ten places to play like out at memphis state.

Red West: yeah well.

Elvis: but still……

Red West: that?s…

Elvis: you take that, you take a man and a woman?s showers, it can?t add up to no half a million dollars.

Red West: that?s a lot of money.

Elvis: well ****. Yunno I got one built here in the back, yunno the one I got. That son of a ***** was only eighty thousand. Yunno how plush it is.

Red West: yeah, you **** right. Yeah, it?s ah.

Elvis: these people just, it?s like you said they saw my signature and went stark raving mad.

Red West: yeah, yes sir. Everybody was taken in after they got your signature, plus when was this **** guys salary supposed to start, already? Mike and the secretary and all that ****.

Elvis: yeah.

Red West: and you are supposed to pay for that huh? Yeah, bull****, bull****. Just get the hell out.

Elvis: merchandise and things. Little cards, little pamphlets, little advertisements, and this and that. And all without my acknowledge, yunno without consulting me, without asking me about it, yunno.

Red West: well.

Elvis: so it just built up into a ****ing monster.

Red West: right. You?re **** right they did. They?re trying to take advantage of you. I don?t blame you for gettin? the hell out of it. But ah, then I guess yunno all that pressure and everything, lawsuits, everything led up to our demise, yunno whatever. But ah, it was a shock to all of us. Old dave was out here. He was flat *** broke, well we?re all broke! Course I had some property and stuff. I sold my house, I hated to do that, yunno. But when you got to do something, you gotta do it.

Elvis: you sold your house?

Red West: oh yeah. Sold my house, both cars and everything. And uh, hebler, he?s flat *** broke and sonny was down to the, well you know it was a bad time by all, I tell ya.

Elvis: well, I guess there never is any really good time. It was a bad time for me, too.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: I hadn?t been out of the hospital long enough to start rolling.

Red West: yeah, but uh.

Elvis: my daddy was, I almost lost him. He?s my daddy regardless of anything else.

Red West: oh yeah. Listen, I can understand. But ah, yeah, we were just, we were in shock there for awhile. What do we do? Yunno. But then we thought about it, and all the pressure and everything and said well I guess he?s got his point too. It?s just, I wish, yunno, we?ve always been able to talk, a lot, most of the times. There has been sometimes we couldn?t. But ah, if I just had heard it from you, it would have been easier to take.

Elvis: well, in doing business and things of that nature, I don?t,
I don?t do that.
Red West: you mean about firing us and everything?

Elvis: yeah.

Red West: well.

Elvis: I had to go to palm springs, analyze and weigh…deleted – see guidelines #2 racquetball courts. I?m still seeing little fuzzy balls.

Red West: well.

Elvis: but uh, charlie was telling, charlie talked to you and you thought I was on the line.

Red West: uh, uh. Well I thought. I heard that….

Elvis: I was over at my daddy?s house going through these figures.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: yunno, if I wanted to hear something, I wouldn?t do that. I would go another way.

Red West: well you know how paranoid everybody gets about…

Elvis: oh, sure.

Red West: something like that. I just, I don?t know why, I just thought….

Elvis: oh sure, like looking over your shoulder and not knowing who the hell it is, regardless of what.

Red West: yeah. But, uh, anyway?s, yunno, it?s all done and that?s it, I guess now, yunno, cause ah.

Elvis: how?s pat and the kids and stuff?

Red West: they?re all fine. They just hanging on until I get something going.

Elvis: well.

Red West: but ah, it?s been kind of rough.

Elvis: I was very disillusioned by hebler. He faked me off something terrible. I thought he was the way the both of us understood.

Red West: well, what did he do, what did he do?

Elvis: well he just, he would say little things to me, who he hated.

Red West: (laughing) who he hated?

Elvis: yeah.

Red West: ****.

Elvis: and uh, this went on over a period of two years. Ed parker told me to keep him at arms length. But I still didn?t catch on. Dumb *** me, yunno.

Red West: I really don?t know what you?re talking about, ah.

Elvis: well. It?s hard to explain. I don?t think that he liked anybody in this group, except maybe dean.

Red West: yeah, well, i….

Elvis: I think that I?d become a dollar sign to him, red. I think in the process he lost sight of Elvis, first, yunno. That can easily happen.

Red West: oh, yeah, I guess so, um.

Elvis: yunno, ah, when that happened, red, I?d become an object, not a person.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: but ah, yunno, I?m not that sign, I mean that rouge touring down there. I?m not an image to build up. I?m myself.

Red West: yeah, that?s the way I always tried to like to think of it.

Elvis: and uh, you?re so wrong on one thing and listen, don?t get paranoid. Because I?m just talking to you as a friend. Now we?re on a private line and there is not a ****in soul but us.

Red West: right.
Elvis: I am not ****ed up by no means. On the contrary, I?ve never been in better condition in my life.

Red West: well, what I was talking about then you had been pretty ****ed up, what I was talking about.

Elvis: well, I went through a divorce, you know, you were there.

Red West: yeah, what I was saying…

Elvis: that wedding thing, that wedding thing, I had nothing to do with that. That was railroaded through. Uh, I didn?t even know who was there. It was all in a little room ?bout the size of a bathroom with a supreme court justice. It was in there over and done with so quick I didn?t realize I was married.

Red West: oh yeah, you?re talking about your wedding.

Elvis: yeah.

Red West: right. Well yunno, like you don?t think about these things. But at the time, it, it, once again, that, it?s that old, I been with you and all of a sudden I was held back and told one, that I wasn?t supposed to come in.

Elvis: I ****ed that up. I could see it, I could see it back then, but see it wasn?t my doing.

Red West: right.

Elvis: wasn?t my doing.

Red West: yunno, I figured that was the colonel and….

Elvis: it was a ramrod type thing. I had nothing to do with…you know, all of a sudden I was getting married.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: yunno, when you go through that, you keep your mind on one thing.

Red West: yeah, yeah right….

Elvis: it was pretty tough.
Red West: well I can understand that. That was a long time ago, but that was just a point I was bringing up to charlie, and uh, but let?s get back to, to the last couple three years. Let?s face it man, you haven?t enjoyed yourself. You just been…you do your work, you go work and then ah…

Elvis: I enjoy my work.

Red West: yeah, I know that, thats the only time we really see you, I really see you anymore. The rest of the time, it?s just ah, I don?t know. It?s just ah……

Elvis: we had a pretty good time up in vail.

Red West: oh yeah, we had a ball in vail. That was the, man, that was the one time out of the last few years that we really got back to the, back to the, well, whatever, back to knowing how to enjoy ourselves. And I mean everybody just had a ball.

Elvis: yeah, I know I did.

Red West: yeah, I know I did too. Cause that was something we?d all been wanting to do, just to get out away from it all, man and…

Elvis: yeah, yunno, that?s ok, because uh, yunno, they just want me to have a house up there.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: and they want to buy food and everything. So, these real estate guys get a hold of that. I mean its a beautiful place but my thinking is not along those lines right now.

Red West: right. I don?t blame you, you can always go up there and rent something.

Elvis: yeah, exactly.

Red West: but um, I don?t want to get real upset yunno, it?s been so long since I talked to you. I don?t want to get real serious on the conversation. But, we were all worried about you, I?ve always been worried about you. About taking quite a few things, I thought.

Elvis: you worried about me so much until you turned around and tried to hurt me. But see, I know what that is.
Red West: well, that?s after you hurt me. You already hurt me and my family very bad. Yunno, you left us out in the cold. So lets don?t talk about me trying to hurt you.

Elvis: things went on that you didn?t know about.

Red West: yeah, well all I know is I was out in the cold and couldnt understand.

Elvis: all I know is there was friction created in this group. The vibes were so bad, people were scared to move and everything.

Red West: yeah that?s true too.

Elvis: so who knows, ah, what the hell they were hearing and being told. I just know it got to be very, very tense. A situation where it could have been a fun and a relaxed kinda thing.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: something went wrong.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: and ah, then on top of the racquetball thing and everything else all the personal things. I was upset too. It was a fact, ya know, but a, we did have to cut down on expenses.

Red West: yeah, well (interrupted)

Elvis: I had the feeling …(interrupted)

Red West: whatever you had to do, you?re the dude. I told your daddy, yunno you gotta do what you gotta do. If you need to cut down on expenses by firing me, yunno, that?s a little weird to me. Seems like you could have cut somewhere else. I thought I was important to the organization. But I?m glad I finally found out I wasn?t. Cause then, I still got a little life left. I?m gonna, I?m gonna enjoy that. I?m still young enough I can find something else, yunno.

Elvis: oh, yeah.

Red West: but ah, it was just, cutting down on expenses. I just couldn?t understand that. All the other, a lot of guys around I thought I

was more important to the organization then they were, but I guess I wasn?t. But I?m glad I found that out. So…..

Elvis: well, its just an unfortunate situation. He?s just now, he?s starting to get back on his feet. My daddy has lost down to one hundred and sixty-five pounds.

Red West: yeah, you mean now?

Elvis: I think he?s up to one hundred and seventy, eighty, something like that. That just shocked and scared me to death. Because you know how I feel you know how you felt about your daddy.

Red West: yeah, thats right. Well…..

Elvis: well suspicion, red, was cast on this group. I couldn?t figure out the source of it. Suspicion. Just like that song we did, ?we can?t go on together with suspicious minds?.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: so ah, maybe I did act abruptly. First one to admit it. Without thinking.

Red West: yeah, well.

Elvis: you know sonny was never around, red.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: yunno, we?ve talked about that.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: ah, he?s a great guy but he never shared anything with us. I ain?t, I ain?t got nothing against sonny. Just ah, hebler tried to bully his way through everything with scare, scare tactics……

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: with some of these young guys.

Red West: well.

Elvis: they would ask questions like…and they never could get a straight answer…they were just turned dean, yunno, down at every corner.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: that?s the only way they could find out. I know, yunno, what it was like, yunno, when I was twenty four years old, ****. I mean my mind was just scattered to the four winds.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: they need some kind of guidance. Some things just weren?t being done, yunno, just little things just weren?t being done. Red, you know how they train for the service. Regimentation. Doing the same thing everyday and night. I mean we knew by god, yunno, you did in the service what everybody else had served legitimately. But by god at seven o?clock we had to do this and at three we had to do that. And they do that by repetition.

Red West: sure.

Elvis: that?s how they train. And all their energy and youth and everything without proper guidances is wasted.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: I just felt I should talk to you and let you see my side of it.

Red West: yeah, I appreciate that. Yunno, that?s what I wish we had done at the very first. Yunno. Maybe I could have understood it a little bit better. But ah, what?s done is done. You go on from there. I mean, I just, believe me when I tell you I wish you all the luck. I hope you go, right, stay right where you are, right on top for ah, forty more years man. I really do, I mean it with all my heart.

Elvis: I?m working on it.

Red West: but I would like to see you get healthier, e. You hadn?t been healthy in awhile.

Elvis: oh yes I am.

Red West: no you?re not.

Elvis: yes I am.

Red West: well, ok you say that.

Elvis: I just had an absolute complete physical head to toe, in the last ah, two weeks.

Red West: ok, well then I?m glad to hear you?re healthy.

Elvis: one of those things that is required by lloyds of london, the insurance office.

Red West: well, then I don?t need to worry about it then.

Elvis: that ah, that thing that I had, that lower intestinal blockage corrected itself, thank god.

Red West: good.

Elvis: I just, I went on a weird liquid diet. That big intestine down there has to have bulk.

Red West: yeah, that?s been discussed.

Elvis: went on a diet. Twenty days was ridiculous. Then I heard that was another mistake.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: turns out that large intestine had nothing to work with so as a result it stopped working. I keep hearing that **** about being fat and middle-aged, yunno.

Red West: no, no, I knew that wasn?t it. I knewyou weren?t, you ate a lot but you weren?t fat, like people are fat. You could tell there was something else wrong. That?s what I mean, you hadn?t, you wasn?t healthy. Something was wrong inside. That?s what I?ve been trying…when I try to talk to you about it you get mad, just you done awhile ago. You wouldn?t listen to it. That?s what I?m talking about man. You were, something was wrong inside of you. We didnt know what we were worried about, we didn?t know what it was. We new it wasn?t fat though, it was something else. And you just….

Elvis: you know, I thought that I told y?all it was the lower intestine. I supposed to undergo surgery and take part of it out.
Red West: yeah, right I was there I remember when we were going to do it. I?m just saying…

Elvis: that was psyching me out because I didnt know what it was.

Red West: yeah. Well, I am glad to hear its all straightened out. I really am.

Elvis: it?s been straightened out for a long time. It?s just a failure to communicate. What we had red was crazy. Like that song roy hamilton did, ?understanding solves all problems.?

Red West: yeah, we didnt…

Elvis: its a good folk song.

Red West: yeah, that?s right. We didn?t have much understanding there for a long time.

Elvis: well, I don?t know if it was you and I as much as it could have been coming from somebody else. You know negative vibes.

Red West: right. Well that could very well be too. I?m, I?m not really into the psychic thing.

Elvis: well I?m not either, but I do know, ah that ah, we are constantly sending and receiving. All the time.

Red West: right. Yeah, we?ve discussed this. Minds, if they can put a picture through the air I guess they can put a thought wave through the air too.

Elvis: so that?s why I was feeling, I was feeling the negative things but and I couldn?t exactly pinpoint what it was. So I just reached a boiling point, hoped that ah you?d understand. It was a temporary thing.

Red West: well.

Elvis: that was what it was. Red see, I didn?t try to get communi-cate with anybody. I felt terribly lonely. You know like that num-ber eight. The thing that says they?re intensely alone at heart. For this reason they feel very lonely when in reality that have warm hearts toward the oppressed. But hide their feelings in life but do what they please. Well, I?m a number eight person and so are you.

Red West: yeah, that?s true. And it?s been lonely. It?s been lonely man, I tell ya. It?s been down right scary.

Elvis: well, I can see it.

Red West: but listen, ah I just, I?m old enough, I just chalk it up to life. It?s another step down that railroad, yunno. I have to learn to cope with it. Go on and try and do something. What can I say. I don?t want to feel sorry for myself. I?m a grown man. I can do something else, other things. Like you said there was a failure to communicate there at the last. Maybe I didn?t, I wasn?t around enough when you wanted to talk to somebody or whatever.

Elvis: well all that and maybe I was absent and listening too fast. But, ah it just kinda bugged me when you said, that was a cruel thing or whatever to charlie.
Red West: I can?t hear you, e. I?m sorry.

Elvis: said I was ****ed up.

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: cause I?m not. I got a daughter and a life. What profiteth a man if he gains the world and loses his own soul?

Red West: yeah.

Elvis: I love to sing for my fans, since I was two years old.

Red West: yeah, I know.

Elvis: we were sitting here playing the guitar and everything singing some songs, ?love is a many splendored thing,? and me and charlie talked about that harmony part, missing that harmony part.

Red West: yeah. Well, what I can say, I miss singing it, yunno. But that?s the way the ball bounces.

Elvis: well, look, you take care of yourself and your family. And if you need me for anything I would be more than happy to help out.

Red West: I appreciate that. I appreciate that.

Elvis: I mean it. I dont give a deleted – see guidelines #2, the articles or publications or none of that ****, that I?ve heard. I?ve just heard rumors, bits and pieces. I don?t know nothing. I was on tour and I have never really sat down with anybody and had it laid out to me. I don?t even know I just know that you as a person and pat, if there is anything I can do, anyway of getting a job, anything else. Let me know. I?m still here, son.

Red West: I appreciate that. I really do. I?ll tell pat what you said that will make her feel better she was hurt. She couldn?t understand it. My kids really, especially (interrupted) …..

Elvis: all of us were hurt. It?s like the song ?desada deraida,? listen to the dull and the ignorant because they too have a story. And then hank williams wrote. ?you never walked in that mans shoes and saw things through his eyes.?

Red West: right, that?s true.

Elvis: after analyzing the blame thing, I can see it clearly. That?s why I?m saying, anything I can do at all I?ll be more than happy.
Red West: ok, I appreciate it.

Elvis: you take care of yourselves.

Red West: ok, let me say one more thing before you hang up. If everybody is worried about the book tell them not to? Man, I mean including yourself. We?re writing the good stuff Elvis. People…..

Elvis: worried about the book? I don?t think so.

Red West: ok.

Elvis: not on my part.

Red West: ok. Good. Because I was out, I was broke. I was made an offer to write the book. I said I?ll write the book if I can tell all from day one the good days. He said alright, whatever.

Elvis: well, you do whatever you have to do. I just want you and pat to know I?m still here.

Red West: ok. I appreciate that. And you take care of yourself.

Elvis: ok.

Red West: ok.

Elvis: take it easy.

Red West: bye-bye

*** end of conversation ***


Elvis died in solitary confinement in his head

He just wanted to sing and entertain people

and as long as he got to have a good time, he was content to obey all the orders given to him by the people who signed the checks and made the deals

but they did not nurture him as a person

they treated him like an ATM machine

less even, given that he was a breathing feeling person

so Elvis the King died when his mother died in 1958

Elvis went into the army – probably saved his life – it gave him structure and a sense of purpose that made sense so he could take a break from everything and get his head around how much his life had changed

so, in a sense, John Lennon was write – Elvis the Rebel died when he was drafted.

Elvis the man benefitted from being drafted, and he needed to be reminded, grounded in reality, that he was just a man like any other man

because he was a boy when he stepped up to the microphone, who was playing with his power that he didn’t really understand

since what he did on stage was not different than what he saw performed in church and on the southern country and western circuit or in the black churches and nightclubs of the south where he also went to.

So he was a country boy on the country circuits with a dash of black southern style mixed in enough to make him stand out.

But on the northern stages – they looked down equally on white and black south – so he was just 100% outrageous in the North.

But around the world – the rest of the world is not as purticanical as America

dance is all about sex – so Elvis was the first American who could dance sex enough to capture the whole world’s attention.

If I could go back in time there are a few places that I would go – and one would be in Paris when Elvis was on leave.

To convince Elvis to stay in Paris after his tour of duty was over and be the artist expat that lesser lights – Jim Morrison – and whoever – got the left over residue of the spotlight with Elvis’ name on it.

because America – only recycles and reboots what’s been sold before – and Elvis had outgrown America

but an American Elvis was – a Southern Gentleman to his core – so he went home and stayed small

and got so small that even when he got physically huge – no one noticed that Elvis was dying and in solitary confinement

yet, he was all alone when he stepped up to sing his two demo attempts to attract Sam Phillip’s attention

and when he finally got to record his first professional recording – he played safe and picked ballad weepies

Harbour Lights

I Love You Because

and Sam Phillips wasn’t looking for Southern Dean Martin

He was looking for something and probably some one else.

and Elvis knew it – he was never going to make it as ballad singer

so he dug deep into his most secret dream

He wanted to be Arthur C Cruddup

an artist so obscure that neither Scotty Moore on guitar or Bill Black on bass knew –

Probably the best movie version of that moment was the Dewey Cox Story Walk Hard.

So Elvis without the tape rolling – launched into That’s AllRight Mama

and Sam Phillips was so started that he barely got the recording machine turned on

then he made Elvis do it again, to make sure it wasn’t a fluke

and at the end of the recording, you can barely hear Sam Phillips say:

hot damn that’s a pop song now!



that transcript isn’t actually accurate

if you listen to the terrible recording

Elvis peppers his sentences with song titles

whoever transcribed this version took it out as nonsense

although why it wouldn’t occur to someone that Elvis had lost the ability to communicate and so was trying to in the only way he knew how – songs

he wasn’t singing – he was talking – so he just said the song title that conveys the feelings and ideas that he was trying to express

and even fans, who pour over his every utterance

failed to understand the signficance of what had become of Elvis

and to be honest, even I did not understand until – after June 10, 2010

and I was alone in my head, in solitary confinement

but I am at home, away from the workplace situation which I don’t see as much different than Elvis’ own situation – his managemetn didn’t understand him either they just knew to keep the golden goose laying eggs that they could endlessly resell in different packaging – without any thought to the quality of the legacy – because Elvis was the First and Last Performer that everyone could agree on – Elvis for Everyone – meant lowest common denominator Elvis – and not Elvis as an artistic brand – and that’s why it’s so distressing that Billboard and RIAA and whoever keeps down grading Elvis.

Elvis is the glue that holds the entire entertainment industry in one global market – without Elvis – there wouldn’t be a globable market – there would just be competing regional ones – which is why there can never be another Elvis – the market is too fragmented – and now lesser lights like Mariah Carey can equal Elvis’ number of hit records – but she does not have the market or box office of Elvis – because Elvis records counted as one number one.

But his records were charted as number one in country, blues, rock, gospel charts – he’s the only performer that can be in each and every single American Music Hall of Fame – and in addition to those genres, he recorded world folk music, latin, UK Songbook, American Songbook, Canadian Songbook, show tunes, Swamp and Stadium Rock, Funk and at the end he even turned to spoken word songs, mixed the original italian song while he sang It’s Now OR Never and he got to be – alone in his heart and head – Dean Martin, Mario Lanza or Arthur C Cruddup or anyone he wanted to be in his imagination – that’s why Elvis the man – was able to create Elvis the Image.

We fell in love with the image of Elvis that he chose to project – and we were so in love with his face and voice – that the fans consumed everything with his name on it – like locusts.

And that’s what finally killed Elvis Presley the man – he realized that all we cared about in America was image – and the image is one thing and the human being is another.

Images come and go and they endure rebooted and rebranded – but human beings – they are only with us for a short time.

So I beleive when they said in Men in Black – Elvis didn’t die – he got tired and he went home. Elvis is Dead, Long Live the King’s Image.

and I realized that when I had my breakdown – June 10, 2010 – and was sent home on disability – in August 2011 – the workplace situation had reached it’s critical peak – a hearing at Labour Canada into Department 7s – lets just say – management – of the situation.

And I thought that they would finally understand that they cannot continue on managing as they had done for three years.

But I was wrong – I went on vacation and came back to a letter forcing me out of the workplace on disability.

There are more parts to this story, but they are not my story to tell, so I will not tell those parts. People who supported me made it clear – they could not and would not be witnesses because every single employee at Department 7 was  nail who was tired of being hammered.

They all admired my courage but wanted none of my viscera on them.

and it took me a while, when I was at home, to undo the damage done to me – and while I have recovered a lot of myself back – there are stll outstanding mental health issues – Post Traumatic Stress Sydrome and Social Anxiety disorders and panic disorders do not just go away on their own – it takes a supreme and sustained effort – beyond the means of the average person.

But I think that perhaps, I have proven with my blog – that started as a project blog to make myself shovel and shift the dirt in my front yard to turn it into a garden – and it is the showcase yard on my cul de sac.

Honest:  there’s been husbands who’ve come over and said – will you lesbians just relax about your front yard garden – my wife wants to live at your house – and seriously,  I’m just a man – I can’t compete against 2 lesbians.

Front garden, house painted an entirely new colour and a new roof – a blue roof on a dark blue house with cape cod grey trim – it’s stunning – we’ve been told by all the wives on our cul de sac.

Then we slowed down our external renovations and focussed on the inside – then other men from the cul de sac came knocking and wanted to buy/trade our house for a second property they owned – because they had watched all the inside renovations – new furnace, hot water tank, new doors and windows.

So we love our neighbours dearly and any time we need help – we grab a tool from our garage and one of the men will soon come running over to ask what we need help with – because straight men – I adore them – they can’t stand to see a woman using tools – and we’re Canadian, we’re neighbourly – we help each other out all the time.

We borrow tools and we loan tools – we ask for help when we need it and we provide inspiration for the whole nieghbourhood to follow.

Because we didn’t buy a house – we bought a home – so we want to make it the best home on the block – because we do not plan on moving any time soon – and we really wanted to live in an upscale neighbourhood – but we bought where we could afford to live – and scaled up that hood.

because as Frank sang and Elvis stole his theme song

I Did It My Way