The King Did Not Die On The Throne

There’s a reason why I am such a versatile blogger – it’s because I have many skills.

And I use all my skills in all situations and All The Time.

The Average person – you know if you are not average – operates in reactive mode – always hustling, seeking attention or opportunities, and they are relentless in their pursuit of what think think happiness is – and part of what Average people think that happiness is – is being all about ALL Them All Night All Day.

Now, when I read those words – All Night All Day – I remember my grade 7 choir teacher and how she taught us to enunciate and sing – so we sang those words

All Nigh Tall Day

and every now and then, when I am feeling depressed, I sing them and when I sing Tall Day – I straighten up and I take a breath – and I remember – many people and times and events and I know – Tall Day – is my guide for life – Walk Tall and Make Each Day as tall an order as possible.

Stand tall and breath – good advice for everyone, eh?

Stick with me while I travel backwards in time, in my mind – to a memory – Grade 7 Choir headed by a woman named J.E. Work – Miss Work to Students and to all the adult teachers  – she was just that terrifying.

And Miss Work – she sang like an angel – because she was a professional choir mistress who had nothing but the best performance possible – so no reading sheet music and if any choir member sang a false note – she would stab her finger at them – and they would shut up – and slip quietly out of the choir and just have to sit and think and wait for her after the show.

And when the choir as a group – had a bad start – she would – stop the performance and BELLOW at the choir to CONCENTRATE AND BREATH and START AGAIN.

Now, how you were supposed to get your breath back after she terrified it out of you – well, that was your problem and if you couldn’t get enough air – well, let’s just say that no choir that I watched from grades 1 to 6 ever ever had to start a song a third time.

So – I went to one elementary school – Sir Richard McBride Elementary in New Westminster – it’s still there – but that Southern Baptist Church where I went to Church to Find Elvis – and I didn’t need to go to church to find Elvis – because I am an Elvis fan – and Elvis is only as far away from me as a play button.

There’s advantages of being an Elvis fan in this day and age – he’s so accessible and available to everyone – and Elvis – well, if you don’t understand already – then there is just no explaining to you – so google if you’re curious – makes no nevermind to me.

Now every student approaching 7th grade was afraid to get Miss Work – because in addition to Choir – she taught 7th grade.

Not only was Miss Work the scariest Choir teacher – she was also – in the words of my 8th grade English Teacher – “The Finest Language Arts Teacher in the District” and because I had gotten an A from Miss Work – I was moved out of regular English into the Challenge English Program.

So, when I grew up a little more – and realized – just how lucky that I had been – getting her as my language arts teacher – I sent her a Christmas Card – when I was in the 10th Grade – thanking her for having been such an inspirational teacher.

So a few years later – when my Mom was working for a local health provider company – and Miss Work was one of her clients – I learned that Miss Work remembered me – as the only student that she would look out at the class of dullards and mischief makers – and she remembered my face – staring at her and hanging on her every word.

Miss Work – I adore you and I love you – and this earth is a far sadder place without you – but – some of the good that I have done since we parted so many years ago in 1979 – and some of the good that I will do in 2012 and beyond – belongs to Miss Work’s Karma sheet – because I know – that if there is a Celestial Choir anywhere in the Universe – Miss Work – well, she sings like an Angel – and she conducts – like Lucifer the Light Bearer – so, if I know Miss Work – and I really really do – she’s not lead singing in the Choir – she is making them sing better – no matter how long or how many takes – that it takes.

Now the reason that I mention Miss Work is because I am going to be adding a Video Componant to this blog – starting this friday.

I have some technical matters to get sorted – but there will be a video of me on this blog on Friday.

The reason that I mention Miss Work is to bring up someone else – someone you might have conjured up in your mind when I was talking about Miss Work.

and that is – Susan Boyle, who is no Miss Work.

You see – I need to talk about Susan Boyle before I put any video of me on my blog – because I am a 44 year old woman, middle aged and I am overweight – I was not an overweight child – I was just tall – and somehow – that resulted in my being bullied – to a very limited degree – because when I was a child – I was a tomboy – and I could punch harder and run for longer than any boy no matter how much faster that boy was than this fat girl – and every boy in school – knew better than to tease me.

Because I could not tell the difference between boys mean teasing and boys flirting teasing  – or rather – I didn’t care about the difference. I was teased at the teaser’s peril.

So all the dumb games that boys played on girls – I did not react like a girl – I reacted – like a boy – and was picked for referee before team sports where picked and everyone knew that I was the teacher’s second pair of eyes – so there’s good reasons why me and Miss Work – got each other.

And if you ever wonder why women become lesbians – well – it’s because of how boys behave when they are boys – and well, that’s a whole other blog – you see – I have many skills and a lot of interests – and what I have never had before – was time. Or as Virgina Woolf wrote – a Room of One’s Own.

So – you are going to want to talk a calm and deep breath – and just let go of all the thoughts that you have in your head – because I want to explain something about Susan Boyle.

When she was middle aged – she tried out for a talent contest program and she did not make it to the finals. She was a passable singer who was pleasant appearing – average, in a word.

Which brings us to Susan Boyle’s debut in front of Simon Cowel and her angelic voice and how her fame fizzled out when she prettied up – because everyone realized that she was an average singer but in a quirky package – and it was the cognitive dissonance – in the mind of the viewers – that was broken – because in that Moment – that was validated by Simon Cowell’s utter shocked astonishment:

so you know if you played that video and I don’t mind whatever it was that you got out of watching that video. IF anything in that video made you laugh or smile – then good – it means that you have joy in your heart.

And, if you are a reader of my blog – you will know exactly why I am glad that you have joy in your hearts. Because Joy is exactly what I am all about.

So I am going to tell you – what I watched when I saw the video – being played on very computer in Department 7 – the workplace where I was bullied – but don’t worry about me – I am safe and protected and surrounded by my family. I have a room of my own.

So first – we see Quirky Nervous and whatever people think – they think – and these screen captures were what set the tone:

Oh…..Mean Girl Sex Kitten

Eh….nothing impresses Jock/GOP Simon

But when Susan Boyle – finally got to stop talking and sing – she stopped being nervous – because she didn’t have to face that audience anymore.

Because she could take a breath – and center and calm herself and pretend that she was at home – alone in her living room – where everyone on the room believed in her – or pretend that she was out and about in her garden or going about her daily life – and relax and just sing her heart and soul out – because Susan Boyle sang every day of her life.

And everyone who watched the video – they experienced and felt and saw – whatever it is that they saw.

And those judges – the three show judges, the judging in studio audience and the judging at home audience and then everyone who watched that video over and over – no matter where any of us started – by the time – Susan Boyle finished singing that one song – everyone’s minds had changed.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The belief that nothing pretty can arise from ugliness is a pervasive thought.

Mostly because – average people can’t imagine – can’t dream and so they don’t dare to dream.

And when – Susan Boyle – took the world by storm – she swept my office too – everyone in my office was talking about her.

I can’t tell you how many people showed me that video – and were disappointed when I wasn’t surprised by Susan’s voice or impressed with the performance.

The people who didn’t know me well in my office – all thought that they were encouraging or something – but they didn’t understand that the lesson of Susan Boyle was not about me.

I already know that beauty is possible to arise from ugliness – because some of the most beautiful people in my office – were the ones who were generating all the ugliness in the office.

And the ones who weren’t so beautiful – just generated more ugliness to compensate.

Now – I was in junior choir in Church and I was in junior and senior choir in Elementary School and I even did a semester of Choir in High School – because I enjoy singing – but I am not a singer – never wanted to be – not really – being on stage or in front of a camera – is not what interests me in life.

I am a writer – of many kinds of writing – poems to technical manuals.

I am a Graphic and Visual artist – and I think I might just let people wonder about why I separated graphic from visuals…….

I am a storyteller and for that – I need an audience – to adjust the story to the audience’s interest level. So I am a performance artist, not really an actor – although I took acting in high school under 3 teachers and in University under 2 teachers.

And I know which ones who’s names I listed in all those Oscar speeches that I practiced – when I was alone at home – in front of the mirror – and I know which ones – are the names that I most remember and why.

But, I am also a math child prodigy who preferred arts to science – but when I was – well – last year – I couldn’t understand what was happening to me.

I knew what and who and when and how. I mean – everyone is the expert of their own experience – so why people think that they can convince you that you are not experiencing exactly what you say you are experiencing – well – I kinda collapsed under the cognitive dissonance of being told my personal experiences were not reality – and I got fatigued under the waiting for what stage in the process that the policies and leglisation that governed the workplace would actually start being applied in said workplace and when did Human Resources and the Union who was supposed to enforce policy would actually …well, enforce the policy and tell management that there is no such thing as Manager’s Privilege that can override – not only the collective agreement, but all the Treasury Board Policy and Legislation and well, – right on up to the Charter of Rights (1985) of Canada.

But that’s not what I want to talk about – ever again – unless someone is actually going to help me – because – well – I never read philosophy before – and I had no idea – how funny it could be – so here are some of the most appriopriate and hysterically funny to me quotes – and if you aren’t laughing – don’t worry – not everyone can understand Friedrich Nietzsche‘ sense of humour:

  • And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.
  • All credibility, all good conscience, all evidence of truth come only from the senses.
  • Idleness is the parent of psychology.
  • Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.
  • A subject for a great poet would be God’s boredom after the seventh day of creation.
  • A great value of antiquity lies in the fact that its writings are the only ones that modern men still read with exactness.
  • Before the effect one believes in different causes than one does after the effect.
  • Egoism is the very essence of a noble soul.
  • Extreme positions are not succeeded by moderate ones, but by contrary extreme positions.
  • Faith: not wanting to know what is true.
  • Insanity in individuals is something rare – but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.
  • It is always consoling to think of suicide: in that way one gets through many a bad night.

And he said: No one lies so boldly as the man who is indignant.

To which, I offer this counterpart:

No one truths so outrageously, as a woman – with a room of her own and who is safe and protected by her family after she has been world-scorned.

So I ask again – dearest readers – for I have exerted myself in my own defense for so long – that I am no longer able to fend off attacks – and I have sought nothing less than to entertain the whole world – so show everyone – that I am

as smart as I am a pain in the ass

A request that will not take too much of your time – just a click and a copy and paste – something that each of you does – many times a day:



And I am going to finish this blog – giving each of you – a small sample – of the kind of person I used to be.

Women in Film & Video Vancouver – has an annual fancy party and the theme of this party was the roaring 20’s – because all the actresses on the board – liked to dress up in fancy period costume – but I do not wear dressed and it was too obvious for me to dress as a male gangster – so the first fancy party that I went – the roaring 20’s – I came dressed as: