Virginity vs Virginity

What makes male virginity different from female virginity?

Male virginity is deemed almost a stigma and something to be dispensed with as soon as possible.

While female virginity is a mystical status that must be preserved until marriage. Maybe even beyond.

But who are the males to lose their virginity to when females aren’t supposed to lose theirs? The pro-virginity crowd frowns on gay sex as much, if not more, than premarital sex.

The attitude of boys are studs and girls are sluts for engaging in the same sexual behaviours is just as harmful to boys as it is to girls.

The idea that there’s girls you have fun with and girls you marry is just as bad and largely it is propagated by girls who are seeking to reduce their competition – there’s no benefit to boys in that adage.

Nor really for the married girls, since sexual non-compatibility is one of the leading causes of divorce. Better to know what you like and find a compatible sexual partner than enter into a commitment intended to be life long and having no clue about your or your partner’s sexuality.

Certainly part of what underlies these attitudes are biology. Male genital are out in front and are handled several times a day for urinating and masturbation. Males are encouraged to be sexual, even though masturbation will make you go blind and get hair on your palms. Seriously, masturbation is the original victimless crime.

Female genitals are internal and specific effort must be made to view yourself. Prior to the invention of the earliest mirrors, who knows if women took that empowering step of self-discovery.

Girls are taught that their genitals are dirty, smelly and contaminated. Girls are discouraged from touching themselves “down there.” Many cultures have forced – and continue to force – women into seclusion from regular society or activities while they are menstruating. This serves to reinforce that the vagina is to be feared and shunned.

Before humans domesticated animals and had the opportunity to observe the animal cycle of mating and birthing, there probably wasn’t a connection between sex and babies.

Chances are that even with dividing labour along gender lines, it probably wasn’t until the sex/baby connection was realized that women became more property of men.  Although, this would have had some benefit to women, as it tied the male closer to her for protection and big game provision.

But, when comparing a penis that can double as a pen during winter, the vagina seems far more psychologically powerful.

Women bleed regularly without dying, women birth the babies, and for many males, the vagina represents an endless hungry mouth. The vagina, being composed of many parts that can be stimulated from several positions and angles, can seem to be an endless consumer of pleasure.

To the best of our knowledge, the clitoris is the only human organ who’s sole function is pleasure and it has the highest concentration of nerves in a woman’s body.

It’s always struck me as wrong that men are presumed to be more interested in sex, when women have the greater capacity for multiple-orgasms and sexual endurance.

As psychologically mighty as a thrusting penis can seem, a properly warmed up vagina can take anything the penis can dish out. Sort of like that Ginger Rodgers did all the same steps Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in heels and for none of the credit.

It’s incorrect to thing of virginity as a pure or innocent state. Virgins have sexual urges and desires. Virgins can and should masturbate to learn what their body likes – and as sex columnist Dan Savage advises, always vary your routine so your sexual response is as varied as possible and not locked into one type of stimulation.

An interesting study identified a correlation between the number of religions in a region and the number of diseases. The tropics had the highest incidence of both religions and disease.

Despite being an atheist, I am not saying religion is a disease – I think it’s a dangerous cultural by-product – but religion serves as a measure of aversion to contamination.

Prior to the discovery of bacteria and viruses, people thought that diseases were curses or punishments and the way to avoid being cursed or punished was to be pure in body and spirit. Religion was a guide to being pure. Since sex requires a certain amount of physical closeness and often is the infection path, it’s not hard to see why and how religions often try to regulate sex or ban it outright.

Plus, if you can control something as primal as sexual behaviour, then you really can control the person – and that’s what religion is all about – controlling you – your thoughts, behaviours and wallet.

Every human has the capacity to think, to evaluate information, to make judgments and to experience many kinds of pleasures.

So, use your brain – there’s no reason for any person to be remotely concerned with what sexual antics other people get up to, down to and into – as long as all the participants are consenting adults.

And, use your brain when you engage in whatever sex you want and play safe.