Professional Relationships and Networking

Save me from your followers, Jesus

Athiest in the Electric Chair

I had an idea for a short script – I tend to have words, ideas bounce in my head all the time and every now and then, they collide and I have a private showing of a short or feature movie flash through my mind. Since I am a sharing kind of gal (this is the first and only draft):


Two guards escort an atheist along Dead Man Walking corridor towards the execution chamber

Guard one: You sure you don’t want to talk to the priest?

Prisoner: I’m an atheist.

Guard One: Even now?

Prisoner: Even now.

The trio reach the door. Guard two opens it and they enter the execution chamber.


The room is spare – the electric chair is the centerpiece. The two guards settle the prisoner into the chair, strap him in, places the wet sponge on his head and then lowers the metal cap into place.

Guard Two moves to the phone, waiting for the governor’s call.

Guard One: You really aren’t going to confess?

Prisoner: I plead guilty, what’s left?

Guard One: I didn’t mean that kind, I meant, you know, to God.

Prisoner: Atheist, I don’t accept claims for any deities, there’s no proof.

Guard One: Atheism is a religious belief you know, you are believing in evolution and science without proof. You’re taking it on faith that there’s no god.

Prisoner: There’s a lot of evidence…Okay, if it makes you feel better, fine. Atheism is my religion. Atheists are individuals, not group think herd animals. So my religion is determined by me.

Guard One: See, that why atheists are arrogant, you think you know better than God. Like you are some kind of god.

Prisoner: It’s not arrogant to think that there’s a powerful entity out there who can create the universe but still have time to worry about what people do with their genitals?

Guard One: Don’t dump on God.

Prisoner: Okay, my atheist religion requires that I have to eat more chocolate pudding.

The two guards exchange a look.

Prisoner: It’s a religious commandment, you have to eat chocolate pudding at 8 am every morning.

The two guard fidget, then guard one leaves the room.


Guard one finishes spoon feeding the prisoner chocolate pudding.

Prisoner: Good pudding, but this also requires a cleansing ritual.

Guard One: what kind of ritual?

Prisoner: Nothing too onerous, you need to remove my shoes and socks and give me a foot massage while I sing Yankee Doodle Dandy.

Guard One: Seriously?

Prisoner: Just as serious as chocolate pudding.

Prisoner keeps making bizarre requests for items to be laid out in a pattern on the floor, other foods or any crazy thing.

The guards continue to age and are replaced by other people. The prisoner doesn’t age at all, having become a god himself, his words.