Sally’s Last Ride

I understand that her being a role model for women to get into the sciences was enough of a challenge for her career.

But how much could she have spared her partner and the queer community – if she had come out after her space flight – a sad recognition of reality that is – and been a vocal support of equality too?
the more people who are out, the more society sees who much gays and lesbians and non-heteronormative people have to offer and contribute.

I do not supporting outing celebrities in any area – only politicians who publically are against what they do in private.

but having prominent gays and lesbians in non-entertainment or sports fields is in many ways, more important to show the true diversity of our community and how we are part of the full range of society.

I was a social activist for many years and for 13, I was a Federal Government of Canada employee.
In 7 departments, I was the only OUT AND VOCAL lesbian – but I was not the only gay person – there were many managers at all levels who were gay or lesbians and they did not find it safe to be out.
So if Senior Managers cannot be out – that says everything we need to know about how safe it is for rank and file employees – and it doesn;t matter what the law or policies say

when there is no will or effort to enforce or embrace them

people in groups will act as the lowest common denominator – it’s why there is so much bullying – might does not make right, might is just about being righteous.


Gay Marriage

There is no legal case to be made against gay marriage – the only reason why gays can’t be married in America is religion prejudice.

If marriage is supposed to be good for society in that it encourages people to settle down in socially responsible manner, be productive, raise families and display good civic citizenship – then the make up of any given family is neither here nor there.

Gays and lesbians are law abiding, tax paying, family forming now and have dramatically changed since the 1950’s and earlier when we were marginalized and died young from alcohol or substances or disease or violence – we are not people to be thrown away, but highly educated, creative people who have a place in society – and are deserving of the same access to law and treatment under the law as anyone else who’s a citizen.

If convicted rapists and murderers are entitled to marry then there’s really no legal or moral reason why gays and lesbians can’t marry the person they love.

Every other G20 country has made inclusions for gays within existing marriage laws or because of religious sensibilities, made provisions for the lesser civil union state – lesser because it does not trigger the same scope of rights as marriage.

America was once a symbol of human potential, but has been dragged into the mud as a Christian Taliban Inquisition internally and Crusades 2.0 externally.

Where rights come from

Written to me in a forum debate:

Actually, America was founded on the notion that human rights are not dependent on government.

as a lesbian, I am gonna have to disagree with you on that, since the rights extended to gays and lesbians have been entirely dependent on the government’s willingness to be inclusive

if rights were inalienable and self-evident, then they would be universal – they are not

the rights any person has are entirely a result of the laws of the country and a function of the dominance of religion, which puts artificial limits on rights

A question for Christians

Elvis sings Who Am I

and Nina poses a question to anyone who is a Christian of any form – who are you to judge others – to call for the genocide of gays and lesbians or to allow other Christians to do so by dismissing them as not real Christians:?

in your belief system, Christ was the last to be sacrificed – so why do christian keep throwing so many others to the lions – to repress our legal and social equality because we are different from you – because life is about making choice – not imposing yours on other people..

God in Santa’s skin

Christian Love, really?

I have been psychologically tortured by Christians and forced out of my workplace by their bullying and am at home on disability to the degree that I am a virtual shut in – terrified to leave my house. Just because they could.

so your claim of Christians being morally superior fails every test

because history and the personal experience of people like me

demonstrate that any time Christians have power over other people, they abuse it.

in fact, any time anyone thinks that they are a god – like any dicator of any political stripe – or thinks that they are god’s rep on earth – they demonstrate the quality of their character Old Testament style

all while claiming to follow the NT

but that’s just old god with Santa’s skin and coat preventing us from seeing to the real god of christianity

I think that’s the problem

beleivers accept the emotional experiences they have as evidence of god

but they don’t know that the emotional experiences are just what people are

and they have no thought or regard or compassion or empathy to for for the emotional experiences that they cause in others – such is the path of righteousness – of being about what they would like the world and people to be, without mindfulness or regard to how the world or people actually are.

thus, with no thought, do pastors call for the outright genocide of gays and lesbians, and physically torture their own children for being or appearing gay and teaching younger children to hate those who are different – in total contravention of not only American Secular Law of each person being deemed equal under the law – but also in contravention of their stated religion claims to be for everyone and about loving people.

spreading by the word or the sword made a certain sense when these things could only travel as people did – by their own feet during their lifetimes

this is not reasonable nor should this mentality be deemed acceptable in the digital, internet, televised and print media world – were words take on a life span that far exceeds any human and in truth, word disconnected from their original cultural context, cannot be trusted or relied upon as true – certainly not as more important than living breathing people now.


we are all sensualists

we experience the world through our senses

and when religion and society and people make us not trust our senses – we stop paying attention to the information that they gather

but just because we don’t pay attention doesn’t mean that our brains aren’t still gathering

or that we are then trying to make sense of our sensory data tells us – within whatever framework we view and understand the universe

so – feeling loved and good – becomes evidence for religion, because religion is how the person views the world

or feeling loved and good because you had a nice joint and are playing your favorite music and just grooving and groking the world



because of the quality of the cavewalls inside our mind’s eye

is what makes the difference

My Communications Problem was solved by Star Trek

So – regular readers of my blog know some stuff about me – as a person – not as a blogger.

I am a white, middle class Canadian who is also a lesbian.

I have also said that I am at home on employee benefits owing to workplace bullying and becoming traumatized – diagnosed with PTSD, general anxiety, panic attacks, agorophobia and a list of other things – including diabetes.

Which, anyone who knows anyone diabetic knows exactly how healthy needless stress is for diabetics.

And bullying is the most needless stress – yet, it’s the most common stressor each and every one of us faces on a daily, face to face, in person basis.

The idea that a person who is being bullied would somehow misinterpret or fail to comprehend what was happening and somehow – that a socially capable, intelligent person – cleared twice by employer side contracted shrink experts to being mentally competent – would somehow confuse, misunderstand or even more bizarrely – consistently lie – and not only say “workplace interpersonal conflict that is not denied by anyone has been left unresolved and has escalated into severe and extreme workplace bullying” –  and filing 5 grievances over multiple levels, filing repeated doctor supported Duty to Accommodate Requests owing to disability, a Refusal to Work under the Canada Labour Code – and the Labour Canada decision is pending – google me for details – and a pending Federal Human Rights Complaint.

I know, I have to call Joe Arvay, right?

Little Sister’s vs Revenue Canada yielded a lot of legal fees paid to a lot of lawyers and a documentary and books and a trial that should have been the one of the centurying – government of Canada post Charter interferes with certain bedrooms of the nation – but there were so many American celebrity trials that were so much sexier than gays and lesbians and their pornography – or as we described it – censorship of our art and lives.

Because other Canadian heterosexually owned book stores ordered the exact same orders of books and Canada Customs didn’t deem them obscene when the books were delivered to Duthie Books.

So if gay books were acceptable in a straight mainstream book store and the gay bookstores and gay shoppers wanted the same books – who’s community standards were being applied to the books delivered to Little Sister’s Book and Art Emporium?

fantasy sequence Hollywood Dreams take 3:

– my case is a horror movie of the week – or maybe it’s more

Erin Brockovich and Norma Rae had a baby…..

oooo – I know – they’ve been wanting to make a sequel to Heathers – my favorite teenage movie. I would adore Winnona Rider to play me!

The Department of Heathers – Veronica rides all over Mean Girls again.

reality gate crashes the fantasyend scene as they say….

This is the thing about sanity – a sign of sanity is having a sense of humor – and this is the hard concept – all comedy comes from tragedy – but being traumatized takes away your sanity, which means, you lose your sense of humor, and as a consequence, your ability to cope with the difficulties of life.

and the meaningful part of that paragraph is that if you know someone who presents as sane but doesn’t have a sense of humour – in particular, can’t laugh at themselves or put themselves into relationship perspective with other people (ie their fellow equal under the law citizens) – then they can’t possibility be sane – no sense of humor is the critical factor that’s the sanity is missing clue…..

(note: this is all stream of consciousness, but I have disrupted the stream and done three passes through – so any meaning that continues from one paragraph to the next is entirely incidental and against the intention of this blog – so this is in effect a disclaimer that any two paragraphs are intended to be read in the sequence that they appear and any connections that anyone makes between paragraphs is their reality and not mine – which, given that I am diagnosed – well, crazy in layperson’s terms, then I don’t know how the law can hold a crazy person to account, just because they are also intelligent and a subject matter expert communicator – because anyone listening or reading, can’t really be sure what or to whom any part of stream of conciouness rambling means or is directed to or is referencing and frankly, I went through this three times and I don’t know what the connections were, or how I changed them or what I will make of this tomorrow because I was supposed to go to bed by 11 pm and it’s almost 2 am now

so I am going to bed when I finish this paragraph)

So I am – like all story tellers – an entertainer – and whether I write my screenplays and try to sell them or whether I am telling you a story in person – or telling you a story on my blog – I am an entertainer – who’s stock and trade is comedy and trauma, I mean comedy and drama.

And while bad and even tragic things have happened in my life, even to my life – I was never traumatized before. Depressed, sure, what’s not to get depressed about?

I’ve been hurt, griefstricken – but never intentionally traumatized by people who meant me nothing but harm. Because no predator had ever caught me – I walked away from a pedophile at age 5 and the Beast of BC when I was 12 – I was smart enough at 12 to not let Clifford Olsen walk off with me – but I knew immediately what he was – a predator – because he had the same look on his face as the pedophile that I met at aged 5.

and when you are face to face with someone who wants to rape you and you are face to face with someone who wants to add days of sexual torture ending with the sweet release of death

It is really not difficult to be face to face with a mere bully – be they Jock, GOP or Mean Girl – seriously – anyone ever not known when they were being bullied, by whom and for what very obvious reasons?

Anyone not realize when someone else does not like you?

So – why then – does anyone who’s being bullied – have to be subjected to the most moronic of investigators who aren’t part of said workplace – who can’t remember that “innocent until proven guilty” is a trial concept – and not the lead assumption in a non-criminal investigation into a workplace that cannot deny there is interpersonal conflict – cannot even deny the characterization of people who are the alleged bullies – because the bullying was not merely verbal or absent of witnesses – interpersonal conflict and bullying is the normal condition of the workplace.

I was bullied by 65 people – I complained about 7 of them because the rest of the 65 people were other victims too scared to stand up for themselves, but wanted me to know how much they admired my courage – but were too afraid to be seen even talking to me in case, some of my viscera got on them – so being a witness? out of the feaking question.

Eventually, these courage admirers came around to see me – to beg me to stop.

Because they couldn’t stand to see the transpormation of me as a socially capable person to being by appearance and behaviours – well, let’s just say –

if I lived in America – where I couldn’t have married my partner whom I have been with monogamously since 1994, and Canada’s common law marriage became inclusive of gays and lesbians in 2000 and Canada’s marriage act – marriage is a federal matter in Canada – so Quebec, being based in Napoleonic Code not British Common Law, was the case to force the federal hand to making marriage equal for hets and homos alike – because in ROC (rest of Canada)

Common Law marriage provides all the exact same legal rights as civil marriage – which in Canada, is delegated to each province to administer and the Provinces license religious groups and civil marriage commissioners to perform the actual ceremony for anyone willing to pay for the ceremony service.

But Napoleonic Code does not allow for common law marriage – and Quebec – a separatist province – is what forced the last Liberal Government to step up and make marriage equal for all Canadians.

But I am traumatized – and I can tell you – as a person who’s never before been traumatized – it’s no wonder to me that other people do not recover from trauma.

Because most people are subjected to traumas far worse than workplace bullying – and people do not recover from lesser work place bulling than I was subjected to – by more than 65 people over three years.

I am a Federal Civil Service Employee who’s Federal Government began in the mailroom at Revenue Canada – and continued on for 12 more years over 8 branches of Seven Departments.

Now, under a Liberal Government regime change – I moved from the mailroom as a clerk to the lower officer ranks in the subsequent department.

I averaged about 2 years per department – because depending on the job, I generally spend 3 months really learning the job, 6 months fine tuning the job and making the work flow streamlined and efficient – then I spend the next year – making the job obsolete.

Because my Dad doesn’t think that I listened to him.

And he’s told me many many things, I offer this sampling:

  • People who are smart enough to run government are too smart to get involved with anything as corrupt as government.
  • We have a legal obligation to obey the law and a moral one to question it.
  • If you are not expendable, then you aren’t promotable.
  • If you want to be a writer, you’re better off single.


Now, I listened to everything my Dad says and I can hear his voice any time I want – because I can phone him to talk or I can just replay every single memory of every single experience that I have experienced.

There’s a reason why I tell people: The Truth

And I tell them: I am as smart as I am a pain in your ass.

I am called The Integrity Fairy – and that is not meant as a compliment.

I joke that I am as smart as I am a pain in your ass, because only I know how many fingers and from which hand – that I am shoving up any given ass.

But that’s the thing about comedy – it is grounded in tragedy – and until I was bullied – at Department 7 – not the first time I was bullied – I was deemed a fat kid way back in elementary school – not the first time I encountered predators – 5 and 12 – and when you face down murdering pedophiles, seriously, Jocks, GOPs and Mean Girl Bullies – phft.

But, as I said, I’d never been traumatized before – because I have always been able to get away from people who don’t like me and who wish to cause me harm.

So I really have to know something, because there’s something that I really cannot – as smart as I am – echo pain in your ass – smart as I am

There is one thing that I can’t figure out:

Who doesn’t know when or why they are being bullied?

Because seriously, apparently, that’s the average experience, otherwise, why wouldn’t anyone at the PSAC union regional or national office beleive this union dues paying card signed up member?

Because I filed my first greivance at Revenue Canada – when it was still a Federal Department – before the liberals did PSAC union busting and made it an Agency – removing the best PSAC union group out of PSAC?

and – if you know anything about me – you will understand this image:

a pile of dog poo

three steamy coils

with a upright curl

now, it doesn’t matter how cute said curl is

it’s made of the same poo as on the bottom of the pile



now I left Revenue Canada and I moved to RCMP – where I was the workflow analyst and forms designer – landed in my actual dream job.

Now, everyone who reads my blog knows that I love Elvis.

But kd lang is Canada’s Elvis – and Patsy Cline to boot.

And I am not a singer – I am a writer.

I heard you Dad, but I got married anyway. I am a writer.

I am a lesbian and being a lesbian is not about who you have sex with or how you have sex, it’s about not needing permission from anyone for anything.

And I understand Dad that you wanted to give me the benefit of your experience – but as they say – apples and trees and monkey see monkey do.

and I told you in January – that I thought that the human brain was a quantum computer and I also said that I thought that I had been Pavlovian Conditioned to expect punishment as a result of Department 7 pattern of deny, delay and disipline while their actions were to isolate, remove from active workflow and to say they wanted to work together and resolve the conflict, and everything would stop if only

if only I would obey management and ignore all the Treasury Board Policy, because it’s management’s perogative as to how they manage.

Which is fine, unless the managers think employees are nails.

and, to be fair, most employees are nails – diversity of nails, but nails nonetheless.

but I was not a nail – I was a screw – and now I have a screw loose.


and here’s what I know about men and their hammers

women who are fuckable don’t want to be nailed, they want to be screwed.

so the next time you call a woman a lesbian when she isn’t into you

don’t pretend that it’s not actually true so realize that it’s not an insult to the woman

and lesbians aren’t concerned about any affronts to your toy hammers.

because we got lots of things in more shapes and sizes and colours

at home in our beside drawers or special rooms or club houses

and to all you straight gals out there – consider the Genetics and Choice Blog of a few days ago: