Last year, I did a blog about the A&W Burger Family and I joked about why isn’t there a Grandma Burger….
Well, they’ve made a Grandma burger – a tasty beefy patty with onions and horseradish sauce on a melt in your mouth bun and tastes like more.
This burger does something to you – like how Barbie makes you feel like no other doll ever could. I don’t often go through drive thrus but this burger doesn’t let you wait to get home, it wants to be eaten right away, don’t even leave the parking lot. Eat me right now!
So you do, your fingers clutch at the hotness, steamily pulling back the bright foil wrapper to release a steam of beefy goodness.
There’s a softness to the bun that it molds to your hand, and it beacons to your lips, tongue moistened and open. The homey smell of roast, onions and the sharp promise of horseradishy goodness to cut the saltiness of the juices.
Chewing and reducing the perfect balance of bun to patty to onions with the creamy tangy finish, juices and saliva running down your esophagus to let your stomach know that pure joy is enroute.
So tempting to just dive head first into the burger, filling every part of your mouth at once, but it’s too good to rush, and you force yourself to take smaller, human sized bites. Letting the textures play and interact on your tongue, contentedly marveling in the heady fragrance, the meaty goodness, the pure chewing satisfaction.
I just had no idea that a rapidly prepared burger could taste so good, so decadent, so completely and sensually immersive.
With so many flavours, how can Christianity claim to be the one true one with a straight face?