I already talked about wanting to get an Elvis style jumpsuit with a beaver on it to wear to the Emmy award and to go with Kathy Griffin as my celebrity date – along with my spouse – who loves Kathy Griffin.
Although honestly, we love your act in Canada way better than the act you have to tone down in America – Oh Canada Go Kathy!
And I talked about how kd lang basically already gave the world a Canadian and a Lesbian Elvis – both at the same time.
But she also was the reincarnation of Patsy Cline – so another star pulled from my sky.
And in addition to being a singer – kd trained as a performance artist – giving this 60’s American sweetheart song a whole new rebooting;
and here’s a little side of kd lang that amazingly didn’t cause a ripple in Canada when it aired, but lesbians across the whole world fainted
So kd lang is a singer and a performance artist.
I am a story teller – which makes me a performance artists because I tell stories with world but when I tell them in person – it’s with my whole body.
Whether I tell a funny story about my dogs and I impersonate them or I tell other kinds of stories while impersonating other people.
Some people that I am related to and other people that I meet in person – say, at a workshop sometime.
So – I have a decision to make and I do not make pro and con lists like other people.
When I need to make a decision – I ask total strangers for advise.
Because everyone I know in person – well, it’s a complicated backstory – but people I know don’t beleive me when I ask for their opinion because I am so – well opinionated – that they think that I am waiting to give them a lecture.
But I noticed something, the first time that I did a random sample.
I approached 5 men and 5 women on the street in Vancouver many years ago.
About a decision that I had to make and I made the question so generic that I expected to get a true sampling.
I have a guaranteed job and I have a shot at my dream job. Which should I take?
Every man said – guaranteed job- right on the heels of my question and then walked away.
Which was fine, I wasn’t asking any follow up questions or for money. I was done with them.
But, every woman I asked – stopped. And thought. Sometimes for a heartbeat, sometimes just a moment, sometimes a long long moments.
and every woman said: dream job.
So I know it wasn’t the question – but I really had a decision to make – to go with the safe job that would lead no where or risk that job and go for broke.
I went for broke and came in second for the dream job and worked at the safe job for a year – was even given a raise in three months, then promoted and given another raise – then, that boss found out that I was lesbian.
Suddenly, I wasn’t the manager anymore – I was just one of the clerks and my job on the work memo was taking out the trash and doing the dirty print shop machine work instead of the graphic designer and legal photocopying work.
I ignored the instructions and reassigned the work because the staff all looked to me as the manager because the boss was out there hustling clients.
And by ignoring the boss, I saved several projects and retained several clients. Despite his change in attitude towards me. So I left that job – it was before 1992 and legal in Canada to be fired or evicted or denied promotions or demoted for being gay.
So I am not singer or dancer – but I am playing to do some Elvis impersonating as exercise and I have promising a certain someone to make a video of me channelling my inner Elvis.
Originally – I had my niece and sister film me doing Blue Suede Shoes back in February.
I did the song and after I fell down on my knees and then the floor and I could not get up for 20 minutes, I was that out of beath. I couldn’t move.
So I didn’t want to send that video. I didn’t look so good – all bloated and pale – a lot like Elvis on the CBC special – I had the moves, but there weren’t that many of them.
So I made another one – towards the end of February as part of a 30 minute video – of another song “I’m Counting On You” and I added a lyric – but banking on me.
And I had all the energy before and after the performance – which was a lot more physical than the first song only video. I did not fall down.
So now I am going to be very brave and make a 5 song Elvis video – filmed professionally by a good friend – but it will be me doing Elvis in public.
I don’t know what will happen, but I think it will be good.
Because I will tell you one thing about Flash Forward – one of many workshops that I attended and organized over the span of my life so far….
It makes you very bold and it’s designed in America to teach Americans how to move their careers up levels – and Americans are not shy people generally about self-promotion.
But Canadians are – we will do anything to not draw attention to ourselves.
At least – not public attention – because to a very problematic degree people in North America have become a little obsessively disordered about self-agrandizing attention seeking behaviours – so part of me – is so uncomfortable – looking like any other attention seeking person on the internet or in real life.
So it’s important that you understand – and remember that – is is not a joke or an embellishment – I am an actual shut-in – agoraphobic with social anxiety and panic disorders – medically diagnosed. Also medically diagnosed with chronic and manic depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – I mean you don’t experience what I experienced and walk away unscathed.
So all this attention seeking that I am doing – is terrifying to me – and I am doing it anyway.
Because I had a guaranteed job – for life – and I worked 13 years in 8 branches of 7 Departments and I say that anyone who is a lifer should only refer to people in prison and not people in the employee of the taxpayers of any nation.
Whether they are in said pay by accident of birth or by personal networks or even official channels when properly operated in accordance with the policies and legislation of the land and industry sector.
Now the computer in high school said that there were only 2 jobs for me – Prime Minister or Movie Producer.
I was told to go to law school, but the movie – Kramer vs Kramer had already put an end to law school – but you don’t actually need to go to law school to qualify to be Prime Minister.
I am pretty sure that our current Prime Minister is in fact an economics major – not a legal scholar.
But I think it is important for the Prime Minister to understand the law of the land that they are Prime Minister of.
To know what it means to be Canadian to know what it means to be Canada – because – it’s all right there in the Charter of Rights.
And since kd lang has already done Elvis and Patsy Cline – then I have to find another role model to emulate for my video debut and I am thinking – and I have been thinking like an American – so I want to introduce:
The Love Child that Elvis and Ann-Margaret Never had
Impersonating Elvis but doing a cherry knot twist to blend Liberace – the 1950’s other dazzleing and adorable performer –
so Not Love Child of Ann-Margaret & Elvis – impersonating Liberace – because – while straight people have coopted drama queen – as a lesbian and a Wit Queen – I am not your usual lesbian drag king – I am a Lesbian Droll King – and so I introduce: