Idol Idealism

You can kill the person but not their ideas

The cost of acceptance

The cost of being accepted by the religious right is total conformity. In other words, unconditional surrender and aping them.

Since that will never occur, it seem pointless to continue to delay the inevitable – although, delay, deny and doubt has long been the tactics of the conservatives on everything from tobacco, environmental protections, climate change, science research and advancement of civil rights, regardless of the science, the law and the morality underlying social progress. Conservatives will cling to tradition and resist modernization for as long as they can, no matter the cost, and despite that in a few decades, the changes will be touted as tradition and social norms so they can continue to resist future change.

Nothing stays the same but their resistance. The battle for equality is over except for the whining.

America needs to ending the bullying and legalize gay marriage. Take away the last threat that the religious right has to use against their own children:

You can’t be married and be gay. We want you to be happy, and that means married with kids.

Never mind that you are gay or maybe are straight and don’t want to be married or maybe not have kids.

The battle for equality can be over as easily as making marriage inclusive, because then we don’t have to just say that things will be better in the future, we will be taking concrete steps to ensure the better future.

That people can be happy without having kids, can choose to marry or not, and can live openly as gay or straight, without sanctions for either option.

The only reason why life is unhappy for gays is because religious people go out of their way to make it so.

The religious are not ever content to live and let live – they want their beliefs to be shared by everyone. It’s why they proselytize and can’t leave people to their private concerns. It’s why they fight to prevent abortions, termination of life support, and science education in public schools.

The religious right has lost every social progress movement from women voting to ending slavery to civil rights for minorities to equal rights for gays and lesbians. Transgendered people should be able to make the equality leap along with gays and lesbians, at least in law if not in public perception.

The last bastion believers have left is name calling athiests, because there is no mechanism for them to remove or deny secular civil rights to athiests, because no rights are dependent on being a believer.

The religious right is scared of their children learning that you don’t have to be religious, you don’t have to be married and you don’t have to be straight to lead a happy and productive life. A good and moral life even. Which is why they resist gay marriage being legalized, when gays and lesbians who are inclined towards families are hardly waiting for the law to catch up with reality.

That it is the knowledge of other ways to live that the Religiouswant to suppress, is very telling about the happiness they have in their own lives, which is clearly, none at all.

If the religious right’s lifestyle was at all a happy one, then it wouldn’t need to be so rigidly enforced or artificially propped up by society pretending that there’s not other ways to be and live in the world.

I think that there’s a lot telling about the mindset of believers that the Pascal’s Wager runs through everything – if you are pretending to beleive, just in case, and you live your life as if you beleive and you follow the rules as best as you can, how is an omnipotent god supposed to be impressed that you lived under false pretenses.

Worse, by marrying a person you couldn’t really love and preventing them from a chance at real happiness with someone who could have been happy to be married to them. Misrepresenting yourself to everyone you know is a terrible and lonely way to live.

How is living a lie – and if you don’t really feel it in your heart, it is a lie – supposed to lead to heaven or any happiness on earth?

That the religious only care about the quantity and conformity of life is horrifying and worse than purposeless, it’s wasteful.

The quality of the time we have is important because it’s the only time we know that we have. Life’s clearest purpose is to live it to the fullest extent that you can.

Life is too short to waste on hate, falsehoods and with people you are supposed to, but don’t really love.


Human life is too short a span of time to push knowledge away and limit ourselves to what we can learn through experience.

Instead of standing on your own feet, yet on your knees to god, and, at the end of your days, or when you look back on your life at any point, and see the small shadow you cast, symbolic of the body of knowledge that you have gained on your own in the context of a life that never questioned what was taught to you as a child,

What if, you studied and learned about other people’s experiences, that were different, based on different beleifs, and how people collectively interacted, learned the history of man and the history of man’s shared knowledge

and add your own experiences to that, and allow yourself to change; when you look back on your life, you are not alone. You are standing on the shoulders of other people, in all times and eras of humanity; each of us, a boulder in a pyramid, a solid body of knowledge, built upon and refined by successive generations.

And so united, we can direct our own future and not be subjected to the whims of the natural world or internal bickering

Conspiracy Theories

If all the conspiracy theories were true or all the real conspiracies were known; would knowing which were true and knowing them to be true, make any difference?

Conspiracy Theories seems to do little more than make the proponent appear as someone with inside knowledge.

Would knowing what “really” happened on 9/11 change anything?

Would it make Americans demand a new form of government? No.

Would it prevent future conspiracies? No.

Conspiracy theories of shadowy governments or agents of shadowy governments or private interest groups, be they business or religion oriented, do little more than create an industry of distraction – it consumes people to the point that casual belief that the US government killed JFK has turned 9/11 Truthers into a unified group who maintains vigils on par with the Roswell UFO Buffs.

These people spend money and time chasing shadows and not living their lives.

If what they believed was not only true, but admitted to be.

What would change? Nothing.

So there’s no sense in living your life around a conspiracy theory any more than there’s sense in living your life according to a religious theory.

You just end up not living your own life.


How to know when…

It is a difficult thing to stand outside of or against a group who, if not standing united, are at least standing as one and, as if, the group is right. A convoluted, might makes right stance at the very least.

Any one of a group who advocates change is standing against the larger group who is resistant to change, because they either benefit or at least, is not harmed by the status quo. The larger group who can, if not behind the status quo, are at least willing to go along with it because it meets their needs.

It is easy at first to stand alone if you are harmed by the status quo, to advocate for inclusiveness, for change.

But when change is resisted firmly or even violently, it becomes harder to continue to stand alone against the group. But once started, you can only stand your ground or fold in the face of opposition.

It’s a difficult situation of a rolling boil, to continue to stand and demand equality or to fold, cave in, be crushed – denied not only equality but the ability to seek and obtain it. It’s more than being denied equality, it’s being disallowed even consideration for equality. It’s confirmation of your outcast, less deserving or undeserving status.

This is partly when picking and choosing your battles comes into play – if you can live with inequality conditions, it’s sometimes best not to stand and be subjected to sanction or mobbing by the group.

If you take a stand to stand against, you are committing yourself for the long haul and it is vital to pick your causes as being worthy of the cost of standing up for them. Because groups resist change, even when the change is beneficial.

That is what you must hold onto to keep upright, to fight the good fight. For good.

Because how do things get better if the good people all leave or don’t try?

When a workplace is entrenched conflict between management and employees – how can they get better when the people most passionate about work simply leave for better or,  at least, other workplaces. How do societies shed discrimination, repression, inequity if no one stands and demands equality and fair treatment?

If instead of people standing up and saying “Not only is the emperor not wearing clothes, but he’s nekkid and butt ugly on top of it;”  – they just left or said nothing – there is no hope of ever improving and only steadily worsening for people who are unable to – or worse, less and less able to over time – move or to speak out against injustice.

If people don’t speak out, the (corporate) culture continues to become incestuous and the rate of decline increases until even hires at work or new generations in society are trapped in the black cesspool of diminishing return and increasing conflict. An increase which only invites dangerous and desperate actions, depending on the context.

For this context, I will say that I am experiencing what I have come to call a meta-existential crisis of extreme stressors and have lost any sense of magnitude – because post traumatic stress will do that to you.

Aside: I say meta-existential, because a regular existential crisis is just facing your own mortality, and in the meta-crises, you realize that your civilization will also die out – so what purpose can there be to individual lives compared to the collective death of the end of civilization?

It’s very easy to beleive that life has a purpose when life is going well – it’s much harder when life isn’t going well – so finding a purpose when life seems most hopeless would seem the path to finding said purpose – you can determine when all things are equal, which is what the loss of a sense of magnitude is – and nothing is hopeful – to find that strength to continue on no matter that there seems to be no purpose. Life is its own purpose perhaps…

While the purpose of our own lives is whatever we find that keeps up putting one foot in front of the other regardless of the ultimate destination or there not being one at all.

It’s a Keats idea – the Romantic poet or maybe it was the Cavalier poets – who’s philosophy was that it was easy to be depressed when the weather was crappy and things were bad, but it takes a professionally depressed person to feel that way when the sun shone and the flowers bloomed, because we know that it will rain and the flowers rot – so there’s melancoly even in the most glorious of days, to the Athlete, dying young – best to die at your peak, so to never know failure and despair

But I think, the truth of life lies very much in that direction – because living well is the best revenge, and forgiveness is more about unhooking yourself from your tormentors and living well despite their best efforts to prevent you……

After all, what does it matter if I am going to die, when whole civilizations rise and decline and often disappear from history with barely a shard of pottery as a reminder.

There’s just over 7 billion people currently living on the earth, and estimates that in all of history, there’s been 104 billion humans – but then, what do humans matter when there’s been mass extinctions of most of the life that’s been on the earth. The earth will continue on, without or with humans, never mind any particular human.

For most of the 7 billion humans on the planet, life is a hard scrabble existence to get enough food and safe shelter, getting by day by day, with nothing less than survival as the daily goal.

There is no grand purpose to be attained with that kind of existence – and the moaning about not having a purpose in life is something left to the people for whom the daily struggle to continue surviving is forgotten, too distant from their existence. Moaning about a purpose a false way to mirror the genuine crisis state of less fortunate people

The modern Mea Culpa of white Liberal guilt for having it so much better than other people, but I think this is often why it’s liberals who place so much more emphasis on equality and fairness – they aren’t comfortable having so much while knowing others have so little.

The very opposite of religious people who are looking forward to heaven, even knowing and believing that others will be in hell. As if, heaven couldn’t be enjoyable any other way.

People being bullied, discriminated against, repressed and terrorized offends my sense of fairness and justice. It offends my sense of the social contract of what it is to be Canadian, which is a social contract where there is a social safety network, where people aren’t supposed to fall through the cracks – not because there aren’t cracks, but because no one is supposed to be ground down into them.

Often, the only way I can remain upright in the face of almost overwhelming opposition is to remind myself that while I am primarily standing up for myself – there is a line of people behind me who are also bullied in the workplace, who maybe aren’t as capable as I am to stand up for myself – who are not used to standing apart and in opposition to “the system”.

In many ways, being an atheist and a lesbian has been good training to stand alone, against the social norms, against the majority – because being mobbed is being bullied by the majority. So being bullied is not that different from suffering individual because of systemic discrimination against the group you belong to. Something that in a workplace where diversity is supposed to be valued, in a country that promotes itself as multi-cultural – shouldn’t be subjecting people to systemic discrimination. Yet, discrimination remains ghosted in the machinery of society.

Being a lesbian involved in the grassroots political movement to seek equality and legal recognition of said equality has taught me that the system can be changed to be inclusive. In the early 1990’s it was legal to be fired if your employer knew you were gay – and I was fired twice in the private sector when my employers found out I was a lesbian – and I had no legal recourse.

By 2004, not only was it no longer possible to fire anyone for being gay, but there could be no denying promotions, housing, military service was possible and so was marriage. In my lifetime, I grew up with rights, lost them when I came out as a lesbian and slowly over a decade and a half, got the rights back.

So it boggles the mind on a level to think that my employer expects me to allow them to trample these hard re-gained rights. It boggles my brain that I have acted in accordance with the workplace policies and reported wrong doing, reported how I have been impacted – and instead of correcting the situation, the situation has been entrenched, escalated and worsened by management’s tactic of deny, delay and discipline; me that is, not the people I’ve reported.

It boggles my mind that the manager whom I have filed the grievances against is permitted to be the manager who hears the grievances, as if only the appearance of a conflict of interest is to be avoided, while actual conflicts of interests are apparently normal operating procedure.

It boggles my mind that following the rules of the workplace and the procedures of the corrective processes fail to end the bullying or correct the situation. My policy wonk tendencies are traumatized and I have no other fallback means of working through the situation. Emotional and logical approaches provided no relief – so what options do I have?

It is difficult to be homeless and agoraphobic.

So I stand and I fight the good fight, no matter the cost – because there is no living under the alternative.

My purpose in life, reveals itself, in the context of my life. Nothing less than the good fight for equality.

Chance encounters


“I was on the way home and it was the morning of September 11 (2001) — not that I knew at the time what that meant — and a girl was jaywalking across the street and we kind of both stopped at the same time and waited a really long time,” said Paltrow.

She said she and the woman did “this stop-start thing” for a time and began to laugh before the woman finally went on her way.

The woman missed her train and was late for work – on the 77th floor, WTC. She lived and wrote to Paltrow ten years later to tell her how meeting the actress saved her life.

It’s this type of scenario that makes me wonder about unrealized or parallel realities, where, what if, every possibility that could occur does occur – and it’s these branching off of possibilities that creates the alternative realities – what if this moment of trying to navigate the sidewalk between two people – was enough to create separate realities from that moment forward.

A reality where the woman arrived at work, and possibly died or lived through the horror rather than miss her train and miss the event. A reality where the two women didn’t meet and delay each other.

In a way, thinking that these other realities exist, takes a lot of pressure off the idea of having a purpose in life – since then the purpose is to simply experience – and we do that as naturally as breathing in and out – and if there are multiple realities or universes, then we experience everything that it’s possible to do within one life because all the possibilities play out, across the universes.