The summer of 1985, I spent working as a chambermaid on the TransCanada highway, somewhere between Banff and what was then a tiny village, not even a town, Canmore.
I was 17 years old and I met a woman named Clyster Hayes. She was in her 40’s and was writing musical theatre. She was an amazing woman and she introduced me to a lot of new things and ideas that summer. I can honestly say that my life would have been poorer if I had not met her. I always regretted not keeping in touch, but such is what happens when you are a callow youth with a world awaiting to be conquered.
There is one particular story and piece of advice that I would like to share, because it was possibly the best timed and most needful thing that I ever listened to right at the moment that I needed to hear truth the most.
Clyster was a singer before she was a writer and when she was 19, she was offered her own variety show on CBC, Canada’s National Television Network. Americans could think of it as PBS as a whole network.
She turned down the opportunity, because she knew that at 19, she didn’t know herself well enough. That becoming famous would forever change the life she was just sorting out for herself. She didn’t regret that choice in her 40’s.
Being 44 now myself. I better understand, because I pursued fame as a career goal.
But the career I wanted was not the one that I ended up having. That was okay with me, because fame was always a minor goal in the grand scheme of goals for my life.
Because I have always cared more for social justice and equality, long before I ever considered fame or when fame became a real possibility for me.
And I still do. Care more about social justice, equality and fairness more than any other value.
The pursuit of happiness is not made possible by the pursuit of money. Easier yes, money creates shortcuts in ways that have unintended consequences when or maybe if a person is lucky enough to learn just how hollow an achievement money is when it’s the end and not merely a means to support something more noble.
but unless you can be happy with who you are as a person, you will always be vulnernable to the whims and will of others.
who will offer whatever it takes to get your attention or your money and offer to cure what illness your own insecurities creates.
There is nothing wrong with being gay – and religion is the primary means by which that not being okay is created, so they can only cure that by stopping the hate and lies that makes people feel bad about themselves.
The group or person who makes you insecure in yourself cannot help you to regain any measure of security.
that goes for demographic social group interactions across society or just between 2 people in a relationship.
Change the conversation, change the relationship.