A heart that doesn’t care doesn’t get broken, but it also doesn’t get to love or be loved.
Maybe love is taking a risk and discovering that it’s no risk at all.
I can’t help but think that early childhood events that upset your child understanding of what’s normal – which is you’re the centre of the world until you get older and learn that everyone thinks that because that’s how we experience the world – which is perhaps why we walk around expecting everyone to know what we know or beleive as we beleive
when everyone’s experiences vary and occur under a wide range of optimal to sub-optimal conditions – which change what we could have been under ideal conditions.
As if each bump – parents can separate or die or leave you, or people who are supposed to protect you will harm you, even if you’re 5, knocked you down a step from what your ideal could have been.
So it comes down to us, our resiliency and adaptability, to manage,to cope, to find ways the thrive despite….but it’s early childhood where we develop our sense of self, of security, of protectiveness.
The role of a health practitioner is to get you out of treatment and back to having a life where you are in charge and socially capable.
The role of scammers is to keep you coming back for treatments indefinitely.
so it’s critical for each of us to understand who is a health helper and who is seeking to make us dependent on whatever they are selling (think AA, homeopathy or chiropractors – or anything that is not founded in science and is generally invented by a single person or upheld by a group who benefits from whatever is being sold)
Knowing that others can understand is the best reminder that you aren’t alone – and knowing that, is what makes life easier.
So, I am glad that I can offer understanding to you, my sister.
Because I think we can only appreciate and be compassionate for other people, when we understand what that abyss despair is like.
Having been to the edge and walked away without becoming a monster, and instead, coming back with a message of curious compassion.
The way that society operates now is not healthy or productive – we are disharmonious – and that’s what needs to change.
From Arab Spring to Occupy – society, as it is now, is no longer able to meet the needs of the many and serves a very few.
We need to change how we are, how we think of ourselves – we have to choose to coexist as we are now – and decide what that’s going to look like – person to person, nation to nation.
Decide to coexist and then we can build a future that includes everyone.
Nina's Garden 
I think our lives are a journey to understand the sub-optimal events in the context of the above-optimal goals
we can’t sink to the lowest common denominator, we have to reach together for the highest
but we have to know what we are reaching for and agree to be in relationship to achieve it.
and one of the highest goals is eliminating the sub-optimal conditions and events – because they are predictable and preventable – we have to stop pretending to not know what we know.
We have to bring in all the knowledge we have accumulated and analysized and turn it all into understanding.
So it’s not that we need to act with coddling towards each other sensibilities, but make sure everyone’s sensibilities are robust enough to handle reality.
And people who cling to religion, are not robust enough as individuals, for the naturalist basis of reality.
It took 18 months of hard core therapy for me to understand that the things in childhood weren’t normal, and how to get beyond them. My therapist was amazing–she made it clear we were working toward a final goal, not a lifetime of chats.